Wednesday, February 26, 2025


I made this wall hanging for a friend at work, The Princess and the Pea.  I was inspired by a similar one made by Kate's mother, over at Stubblejumpers Cafe.  I think I'll make myself one too.

I'm still feeling down and then realized the date.  My mum died on February 25, 2013.  I still cry sometimes when I think about her and what the last year and a half of her life were like.  It wasn't easy for her or for me.  Mum died of a massive stroke, which is what she wanted.  She was terrified of ending up in a wheelchair and dependent on others to take care of her.  The last time she went into the hospital, she could still walk.  She was admitted on a Friday, had a stroke on Sunday, and died on Monday.  

I loved my mum.  She could be manipulative, in the nicest way possible, but she was a good mum.  I inherited her excellent sense of humour.  My aunt told me a story about the day my mum and dad got married.  One of my aunts was late to the wedding and came in part way through the ceremony.  My aunt had bought new shoes for the wedding and they squeaked as she walked into the church and found herself a seat.  My mum's shoulders started visibly shaking as mum silently laughed during her wedding ceremony, because of her sister's squeaky shoes.

Mum didn't have an easy life.  Dad was angry a lot of the time.  They lost five babies between me and my sisters.  She moved to a new country to be with my dad after the war. She missed her family in England and didn't see them again for almost twenty years.  She was not "allowed" to work outside the home by dad, once he made enough money to cover the bills.  She came from an upper middle class family in England and ended up living in what could be called a shack when she arrived.  I think that dad spent the rest of his life trying to afford nicer things for her.  Mum was also a beautiful woman and I think dad knew he was "punching above his weight class".

Most of all mum could laugh.  I still have her rubber chicken that someone gave her.  She loved jokes and she even loved dirty jokes, although she would say, "Oh Pixie."  I don't think mum knew what to do with me.  I coloured outside the lines and didn't always follow the rules.  I don't know if she was proud of that, horrified, or jealous.  She was a woman of her time, born in 1924.  

Mum taught me to laugh, she taught me to knit, and garden, and best of all, she taught me to love walking.  When my kids were little, and the weather was decent, we would all bundle up and go for walks with her.  Her father had four girls, a disappointment for him, I'm sure, but every Sunday, he would take one of them with him on his long walks.  So I guess I can thank my grandfather, whom I never met, for my love of walking too.

Mum holding me in 1962.


RIP mum.

37 comments:

  1. Your creative energy is an inspiration to me. Beautiful tribute to your mother. That photo of your mother and you is a treasure. I'm deeply moved by this post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Amanda. I cried a lot while I wrote it, cathartic for me.

      Delete
  2. A lovely tribute to your mother, well done.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, that's an amazing work of art! Time-consuming? Your mom was gorgeous; mine too and as she gets increasingly more dependent and frail, she will undoubtedly hope that a stroke takes her quickly before she can no longer walk. You have loving and positive memories of your mom which I know you treasure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The wall hanging didn't take that long, the hardest part was the mistakes I made and had to fix:)
      I think we all want that, to be independent until we die.

      Delete
  4. The wall hanging is great, as I knew it would be.
    The tribute to your mama is really beautiful. Sounds like she was too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She was a good mum. I was lucky to have her.

      Delete
  5. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman. Beautiful in all ways. You are talented, I like the wall hanging. My mother died suddenly from cardiac arrest. She looked like she was asleep in her chair. A good way to exit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's what we all want, a quick death, and to be independent until the end.

      Delete
  6. A wonderful tribute to your Mom. Women of that generation did not have easy lives, did they? They put up with a lot of stuff I hope women never have to put up with again, although even as I type that, I know it's naive.

    You're a talented quilter, on top of basketry weaving and pottery! Clearly you've got an artistic side a mile wide!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mum's parents were divorced, a scandal in the 1940's, so there was no way mum would have left, plus she couldn't support herself and her children.
      Mum was an amazing sewer as well and the best knitter I've ever seen. I thought all women could knit like her but when I grew up, I realized that wasn't the case.
      And thank you. I suck at accepting compliments.

      Delete
  7. You have such good memories! She was beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That was a beautiful tribute to your mother. I am guessing your mother met your father in England during or right after the war. She changed her whole life and it must have been a bit scary to move to a new country.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mum and dad met during the war and married during the war. Mum came to Canada in 1946 and that was a whole other story. War brides were not welcomed after the war and most of them had no idea of what they were getting into.

      Delete
  9. Hi, I somehow recently discovered your blog (through mutual connections--don't remember where) and borrowed for my blog the illustration of the Canada goose hockey player straddling the downed American Eagle. I'm American and am LOVING how other country's are pushing back against out Head Bully.
    So, thanks for sharing that.

    And I love this portrait of your mother. I loved my. mother too, who could also be manipulative, was also, perhaps disappointed in the direction her life took--but passed down so many creative and funny things.
    I smiled to think of yours laughing at her sister's squeaky shoes during her own wedding.
    When I saw her picture, I immediately thought "Sigourney Weaver". Maybe it's just the angle, but at any rate--beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that I look back, I realize how creative my mum was.

      Delete
  10. I love that wall hanging and can relate to your loving your mother. I helped nurse her when she died of lung cancer and was grateful she didn’t have to go to a nursing home. I had trouble eating for at least six months after she passed. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mum's biggest fear was going to a nursing home. That didn't happen thankfully.

      Delete
  11. That was Cheerful Monk.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That was a nice read about your mother, who sounded potentially unconventional but she controlled herself. We never really know what people are thinking and wondering about, and I am sure many women back in those days wanted more out of life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mum would have made an excellent teacher, she loved children. I wish I had asked mum more questions when she was alive. We always think we have time.

      Delete
  13. Loved learning about your mom. There's a lot of her in you eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably:) Mum was the black sheep of her family as well, marrying a Canadian, and leaving England.

      Delete
  14. What a fabulous photo of you and your mom. It's interesting how anniversaries like that can sneak up on us emotionally, even without us being fully aware of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is strange how it sneaks up every year. I know when they both died and it still comes as a sad shock.

      Delete
  15. Loved sinking into your memories. Made me miss my Grandma.

    ReplyDelete
  16. She was a good looking woman with her high cheek bones and slim figure. Being an emigrant is never easy. The second generation are better able to fit in.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I didn't realize how hard moving to a new country is. Mum came from England, she spoke the same language, and it was still so hard for her.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh your Mum was definitely Stunning!!! Her Story is very similar to my own Mom, who moved to America after marrying an American Career Military Man. I never realized how Homesick she probably always was, the Cultural differences were quite profound and I realized that when as a Teenager we went to North Wales and I got to experience her Culture firsthand. I was actually Born there, as she went Home any time she was pregnant, but I'm glad I got to see where she grew up and connect her Stories with the actual place. English was Mom's 2nd Language and it was hard for her not to be able to talk Welsh to anyone here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't realize your mom was Welsh. They were strong women, who didn't have a lot of choice, except to be strong:)

      Delete
  19. That’s a beautiful wall hanging. And I really loved getting to know a bit more about your mom. Her giggling through her wedding ceremony is just a delightful insight into her sense of humor and generosity of spirit. She didn’t mind that your aunt was late. It was all about those squeaky shoes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently mum got into trouble a lot for laughing when she was young. I like that about her:)

      Delete