I had a lovely visit with my brother, his wife and my nephew. I'll write about everything another day but everything is good and I'm thankful for that.
Penticton is a beautiful place but hot as hell. I walked a couple of days on this trail and enjoyed it very much. The trail runs along the lake and through vineyards.
On the drive home yesterday I got a message from Jack's grandma. She had left Jack with Gracie for one night, because they switched nights. When she called in the morning to say she was on her way to pick up Jack, Gracie sounded off. Grandma raced over there; nobody would answer the phone, to buzz her into the bulding. Somebody finally let her into the building, when they were either coming or going. She knocked on the apartment door but nobody would answer. She finally told Jack, through the door, that it was her, and he let her in. Jack had a tablet that he was playing on, and his mom and her drug buddy were passed out on a bed. The phone was smashed. She took Jack with her and then contacted me. Jack is not going back there for weekends, and grandma and auntie are in agreement with this. I'll have to contact our lawyer on Monday because we'll have to go back to court.
And Jack, he's kind of withdrawn today and cries easily. Last night he was doing his blinking thing, which is his tell that he's stressed. We're being gentle with him and he goes back to the psychologist in a few weeks. Hubby and I are angry and stressed. I'm exhausted and my shoulders are tight as hell, but this will pass. I'm going to ask our lawyer about terminating Gracie's parental rights; I would never stop him from visiting her but it seems unlikely that she will ever be in a place where she can raise him.
I guess we'll see what happens. Gracie did phone her mom and wanted to know when she was dropping Jack off for this weekend. Her mom told her, that is not happening, so good for grandma. It took awhile but it seems she is fully on team Jack.
To be honest, we knew this would happen eventually. Gracie usually goes off the rails around this time of year, every year. She still doesn't have job, and she no longer gets any child benefits for Jack because they have been transferred to me. When I asked her if she had a job, back in July, she told me that she had a boyfriend who supports her. I'm guessing he's out of the picture if she's passed out in bed with her old drug buddy, the one who lives with his mom. So, no money and no boyfriend now.
Sigh. I need a walk.
This is terrible but it did finally wake the other grandma up. Gracie is dangerous to the little guy in so many ways. Maybe this is the beginning of the end of Gracie's rights.
ReplyDeleteAnd....you all look comfortable and happy in the photo.
I don't know how complicated or difficult it is to terminate parental rights but I'm going to find out.
DeleteI had such a wonderful visit.
Your brother is a good looking guy!
ReplyDeleteAt last, perhaps now you will have full custody ... did the other grandma get pictures of the two passed out druggies?
I think 🤔 you need something stronger then a walk!🍷
When my brother was younger, he was the spitting image of George Clooney.
DeleteThe grandma didn't get photos sadly. I worked in the garden for awhile this evening and I feel better.
I'm glad you had a good visit with your brother and family, but so sorry you had to come back to another Gracie crisis. I hope it all turns out well with the court order variation you'll be seeking.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how difficult it is to terminate parental rights. Any ideas?
DeleteWhat an awful situation but the silver lining is that (other) grandma finally opened her eyes. Can Jack see the psychologist sooner than in a few weeks? I imagine he needs all the support he can get right now.
ReplyDeleteWe can't get into the psychologist any sooner sadly, he's booked up.
DeleteI'm glad we're all on the same page, for now.
Good grief. She never changes, Jack continues to suffer. I am so sorry this situation is so terrible for all of you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I doubt she'll ever change. Sigh.
DeleteWhat a nice picture of the three of you! Regarding Jack, with any luck this will be the end of any sort of parental rights for her. Just a horrific situation and he's getting the worst of it.
ReplyDeleteHe is getting the worst of it. He's only five years old and has been going through this for five years.
DeleteLove the lead Image of you with your Handsome Brother, who has great Hair BTW, and your SIL, you all look so Happy together, glad you had some respite like that with Loved Ones. As for Jack's situation with his Drug Addled Mother, absolutely, have the other Grandma document for you what she had to rescue him from that day as further evidence she should lose Parental Rights. Supervised Visitation is definitely in order, so much could go terribly Wrong otherwise, not the least of which he should not be Witnessing or exposed to her Drug and Alcohol use, what if he got into some of it?! We went thru that with The Young Prince back when his Bio Dad was still Using and Dating Women who also were. Bobby eventually kicked Heroin, but, until he got Clean, I would forbid unsupervised visitation with his Son. To this day they have a functional relationship now and we're supportive of it, but, he's Grown now and can use his own discernment about his Dad and any Lifestyle Choices made by Parents. It was helpful to us that the G-Kid Force's Parents wanted the very best for them so voluntarily let us Raise them and make all the important decisions for them. I know your situation with Gracie and with your Son and his Child, is far different and therefore more complex.
ReplyDeleteI only have one sister in law but I just love her. She's so sweet. My brother and her support each other in ways I never noticed before.
DeleteGracie believes she knows what's best for Jack. She's like trump that way.
I've loved the photos you've posted from Penticton (hard name to spell!) and I'm delighted you had such a lovely get away. The situation with Gracie...not a surprise but sad for Jack. I'm hoping that terminating parental rights isn't as slow in Canada as it is here; it took John's older daughter and son-in-law 6 years to be able to formally adopt their foster daughters. Since you are the grandma, it may be much faster.
ReplyDeleteI doubt it would be any faster here. We see the lawyer tomorrow and see what she has to say.
DeleteI am so glad you enjoyed your visit with your brother. You at least had time to relax/decompress before this new situation arose. I do hope his other Grandma will actually be on your side now, this was a long time coming. I hope you can use this to indeed begin to terminate the parental rights.
ReplyDeleteIt was wonderful to have nothing required of me. I walked, talked and read a book.
DeleteI'm so so sorry that Gracie is acting par for the course, but I'm really glad Jack wasn't harmed. More to the point, I also think it's good that it was his other grandma that discovered the situation. Might have been just the kick up the backside that she needed to be totally "team Jack"!
ReplyDeleteJack wasn't physically harmed but emotionally, I'm going to say he has been harmed by all of this.
DeleteI am glad for all of you that the other grandmother has stepped up. How can she possibly think Gracie should see that child, alone, for any length of time? Jack is blessed to have you.
ReplyDeleteI've had twenty years to come to terms with my son and his behavior. The other grandma is just starting to see her daughter for who she really is.
DeleteFirst off, you are a beautiful woman.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, yeah. Gracie needs to be out of the picture except for possibly supervised visits. That is horrible. That poor child. And I can't help but feel a little bit sad for her mother. I'm glad she's finally faced reality.
First off, thank you.
DeleteAnd second, I guess we'll see. Reality is hard to face, especially when you've spent so long avoiding it.
I really hate that the courts required little Jack to pay the price of proving Gracie's inadequacy.
ReplyDeleteHe has paid the price, poor guy.
DeleteGreat picture with your brother and his wife. That is upsetting about Gracie but at least now there's further evidence that this arrangement is just not going to work. Assuming her mom sticks to her guns when it comes time to appear in front of a judge, that is.
ReplyDeleteMy sister in law is a wonderful woman, I love her. And Gracie, just another fuck up.
DeleteReading that about Jack gives me the shakes. Seriously, that boy should never again have to stay with Gracie.
ReplyDeleteWhat more do the courts need?
I guess we'll see the judge says next time we see them.
DeleteGood heavens! Vineyards in Penticton - I would never have imagined that! You look so healthy and relaxed in the photo - what a shame you had to come back to yet another horrible chapter in the saga of Gracie and Jack.
ReplyDeleteThere are tons of vineyards and fruit orchards in the interior of BC.
DeleteI didn't enjoy the drive home, that's for sure, worrying about Jack.
I am so sorry to read about poor Jack. That poor kid. He's lucky to have you, and I am glad his other grandma is on board too. That's a great photo of you, your brother and your sister-in-law.
ReplyDeleteJack has been through a lot in his short life.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear this terrible update and hope that Jack recovers with the warmth and love in your home. This must be such a strain on you as well, so I send you love.
ReplyDeleteThanks Elizabeth. Same old shit:)
DeleteI'm glad it has come to this point without Jack being seriously hurt. Think of all the kids who don't have grandparents like you! Heartbreaking. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm glad he hasn't been seriously hurt either.
DeleteOh dear, this is heartbreaking. At this point I believe Jack needs to be protected from his mom as much as possible. We had a similar situation in our family, and I think we waited too long to separate my nephew from his drug addicted mother. He was 7 when he went to live with other cousins in Virginia. They secured him, but in some ways, at 7, his trauma had already taken root. You are not being mean to seek the termination of Gracie's parental rights. You are being loving to Jack. I wish you all the best with this. It's a hard road you're all on, but you are doing right by Jack.
ReplyDelete