Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Yesterday we put a PICC in a patient for his stem cell transplant.  He's a lovely man from Newfoundland and a talker.  I was with him when they put in the CVC for his stem cell harvest, so we knew each other.  People from Newfoundland are generally kind, gregarious and as I said, they like to talk.  When we were all done and I was cleaning up, I lifted his arm to clean underneath and discovered this blood stain on the drape.  I got my co-worker to take a photo of it and called the patient's wife in to see it as well.  Photos were taken and we were all amazed by the blood stain.  It pretty much made my day.

I asked more questions of my son's wife yesterday and she started to share things with me.  My son is convinced there is something wrong with his baby.  When the baby was two weeks old, my son called 911 because he thought the baby wasn't breathing.  He's been trying to force feed the poor baby with pablum and he won't let the baby sleep for more than an hour.  He's convinced there is something wrong with the baby's skull and is accusing his wife of abusing the baby.  It was my son who called the police on the weekend to report that the baby was being assaulted.  The police came, checked the baby over, took photos, found no signs of assault and arrested my son.  He was let out of jail later, with a no contact order, and returned home.  When his wife wouldn't let him in, he broke down the door.  She called the police again and he left.  Last night he called me after I was asleep and left a message to let me know he's in jail again.

It appears he is suffering some sort of mental breakdown which breaks my heart, again.  If he calls me again I will urge him to seek help, this goes beyond drug and alcohol addiction.  He's not in touch with reality right now.

The weekend sucked.  The big guy is sick, he has turned into a snot factory, poor man.  Jack was sick as well.  Not sick enough to lay down, just sick enough to be grumpy poor guy.  

I keep telling myself it's not forever.  It's not forever but each day feels like forever.  


  1. A heart made of blood. Fitting, I'd say.
    Yeah- your son is not well at all, obviously. I have to say that it must be a sort of relief to know he's in jail.
    I am sure that each day does feel like forever now. How I wish I could hug you.

  2. Oh my, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what else to say. I know you will plough on through because that's what strong women do but .... still, I'm so, so sorry! Sending you huge hugs through the ether!

  3. Is your son's wife in touch with reality and in a position to care for the baby? What a situation! I hope your son is getting some care -- and that you're taking care of yourself in the middle of this maelstrom!

  4. That blood heart, you needed something to cheer you and there it was, its the little things. Thats what you need to do just now, look for the little things that help you to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I hope the saying 'this will pass' comes true for you and your family. Take care. xx

  5. O my goodness. That heart!

    Sending love to you and your family on this winter solstice morning. We are all so vulnerable. We need each other to walk with us through the hard times as well as the not so hard times. It's such a mixed bag, even at the best of times. Thank goodness that the hard times don't last forever.

  6. So very sorry for all you have been going through ... We all empathize with you!
    Can your son be sent for psychiatric help? I sure hope so!
    Lord ... I am hoping for so much positive energy to come your way! Soon!!!

  7. The heart in blood-a cheery message during times of h*ll. :( I hope that your son gets the help he needs. What a very sad and scary situation. We are snot factories here too-but have colds and not Covid at least.

  8. I'm glad you explained the blood stain. I saw your post on Instagram and wondered What The ...?
    I hope they can get your son out of jail and into a mental health facility.
    You and yours have been having shitty times. I'd like to have some of your stamina.

  9. That image, the blood heart, is astounding. Best wishes to you during these difficult times.

  10. The blood heart, a perfect metaphor, life is so hard right now, but hearts will find you. Breathe, only that, and take the next indicated step, only that. You're dealing with so much. I send you a wish for strength through this, and I send love.

  11. I'm trying hard to think of something useful to say, and I can't. I'm so sorry.