Miss Katie actually looking at the camera. That's how she prefers to wear her mask.
I've changed my blog site and name because my middle daughter found the site and was angry that I had posted an old photo of her on it. On Friday she was doing an online audit, which I didn't even know was a thing, and when she googled my name she came across a comment I had left on someone's blog back in 2015 which brought her to my site.
She's applying at tech companies, I didn't know that, did the online audit, I didn't know that, and was upset with me, I got that part. How she went about it was not that nice but I'm not about to give up blogging because I enjoy it and it helps. So, a new site and a new name. I liked being Lily, now I'm Pixie which I should have thought about more before deciding on that name but there you go.
My middle daughter and I just don't mesh well. She's been angry with me for such a long time; she doesn't like me which is painful to write but true sadly. She is an unhappy young woman who believes that if she makes a lot of money, then she will be happy. I hope one day she figures out that what she wants and needs is already inside her but if she's like me, and she is, it will take her a long time. She prefers to blame me and my exhusband for her unhappiness.
I lay in bed last taking an inventory of myself, good and bad. I tried to find a balance and did for the most part. I'm stubborn, inflexible, judgemental, a control freak and I have anger issues. On the upside, I'm compassionate, kind, hardworking, empathetic and I have a wicked sense of humor. I'm much more patient than I ever used to be and less impulsive. I don't like looking at my flaws but I do. I would prefer to be a gentle, kind soul who was always calm but that's not me. I get angry, especially when I see inequities. So all in all, deeply human, a mixed bag. I fell asleep without obessing about my daughter, a win for me.
Today is my last day of holidays, more time in the garden, another dog walk, some time with Jack and then back into the fray.
It's a good list ... you should be able to meet all of the requirements!
ReplyDeleteHope you can enjoy a quiet and peaceful Sunday!
I imagine some of your characteristics -- your tendency toward control, for example -- probably help a lot in nursing. It's too bad your daughter got so upset. Couldn't you just take her photo down, or was she concerned about other aspects of your blog as well?
ReplyDeleteFunny Big Guy should say you are negative on your blog. I haven't seen that. I've seen you pissed off, and who wouldn't be at the things you've described? But what I've seen far larger than any of that crap is how kind you are, how sensible, how willing to help, how caring, how appreciative of what and who you do have. These are what I "see" so I say keep writing exactly what you please and don't for a moment think you shouldn't. I like you just as you are and hope to meet you one of these years. -Kate
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the update. Was wondering about this new blog site. Just wanted to make sure that it hadn't been hacked and this is really you. Good to know you've not stopped blogging.
ReplyDeleteOh for Christ's sake. I'm sorry but to have to change your entire blog because of someone's online audit- well, what a strange world we live in. But that's okay- you're a good mother to consider her feelings.
ReplyDeleteI love Katie's smile!
I love your self-inventory. Love yourself for all of the very positive things you are and accept yourself for the traits you don't consider positive. You would not be you without all of them.
At least that's what I tell myself about mine.
Great picture of Katie. She looks happy.
ReplyDeleteSelf inventory, a necessary thing if one wants to keep moving forward, don't you think?
There is so much that may not work between a mother and her daughter. There is a volatile energy. It may change. I admire you for understanding and expressing what is going on with the two of you.
ReplyDeleteAnd your Katie looks adorably cheerful.
That was a thoughtful thing you did for your daughter. I wouldn't know how to move a blog lock stock and barrel to a new name. Thanks for letting me know where you went.
ReplyDeleteI get it now. It's getting harder and harder to fly under the radar. Keep writing - you're not just helping yourself, you're helping your readers as well. And your photos are a gift to those you share them with. xxxxx
ReplyDeleteYou are a good soul, friend, and yes, not obsessing on that over which we have no control is a win. Your daughter loves you, but it sounds as if she doesn't know how to love herself enough, and so all you can really do is love her from afar the best way you know how. If I ever need to move my blog lock stock and barrel, I'm coming to you! I try to fly under the radar, too, but like you, the blog is an adjunct to sanity, a place to process, to dare the reveal. I'm glad you wont stop writing. It not only helps you, it helps us, too.
ReplyDeleteSelf reflection usually causes us to come to the conclusion we're a mixed bag and all flawed Human Beings... what you wrote of your strengths and weaknesses could have described me too! Perhaps that is why we connected online, being Kindred Spirits and I'm glad you didn't give up Blogging due to anyone else. It is difficult when we love someone and yet, cannot always get along with them or need distance in the relationship for there to be a measure of Peace. We want what is best for those we Care deeply for, but they have to figure Life out on their own mostly, don't they? Now that I'm an Old Woman I can look more objectively at how I was as a Young Woman and how my own Parents probably felt about some of the choices I was making back then too... which caused some friction along the way, because they had validity to some of the things I was doing that were causing some of the Issues of Life I was having. By the time we sort Life out we're usually at the end of it. *LOL* With my own Kids and Adult Grandkids I try hard not to get so Old I forget what it was like to be Young, it's helpful.
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