We went to the mountains this past weekend;  it was lovely.  The funny thing is, I took this photo in Hinton, not the mountains, in the parking lot behind the Dairy Queen, because trees.

We took my grandson to visit his father last night.  We met at MacDonald's and my son set the mood by lying to our faces right off the bat.  Two weeks ago he called to apologize for lying to me and then wanted to visit his son.  Fine, we made arrangements then he spent the last week trying to alter those plans with us and with Gracie.  And then a lie, literally, first thing out of his mouth, while we were still in the parking lot.

He spent the hour pacing around the MacDonald's, holding his son, ignoring his son while he texted and talked on his phone.  When we got back to Gracie's place I fed my grandson his bottle and settled him for the night.  I love that little guy.  He has the most precious smile and he has a smirk already.  And his laugh, well what can I say?  Obviously the best baby ever born, which is exactly what every other grandparent on the planet says, and we're all right.  He gives me hope, even while all the shit carries on around him, he gives me hope.

I forgot my antidepressants when we went to the mountains.  I actually only missed a day and a half and I always wonder, do I really need them?  As we were driving home a song came on the radio by Bruce Hornsby, The Way It Is, and I burst into tears.  No idea why.  After we got home and I was working in my garden I looked up to find a dead woodpecker caught in some netting I had put out for my flowers to grow on.  I couldn't stop sobbing.  I do cry on a regular basis but this sobbing was next level crying so yes, the antidepressants while a nuisance, do keep my alive.  I tore down all the netting and filled my birdfeeders.

And now, back to work, back to routines, although I'm trying to break out of my routines a little because they keep me from trying new things.  I like routine but I think I like routine a little too much.

Work continues on.  New patients, old patients, dying patients, living patients.  They are my people and I care for them deeply.

Life continues on.  Winter is coming.  My garden is set for winter now, except for my carrots which I'm leaving as long as possible in the soil.  We have a tree which needs severe pruning due to black fungus but we need the leaves off the tree before we can tackle that.  I've taking up knitting again which I enjoy.  I have all of my mum's old knitting needles and I like to be able to use them.  My mum was an amazing knitter and I feel closer to her when I knit.  First I made a scarf for a friend and now I'm working on a shawl for my niece who has come back into my life and for which I am very thankful.