Saturday, October 18, 2014

This is one of my favorite places in the world. 

It's been a difficult week, again.  I ran into another friend at work who is starting her cancer journey, one that will end with her death.  Two friends, two different cancers, two deaths. 

On Thursday, a co-worker (the one drives my crazy), made a patient's father cry with her insensitivity and her need to follow every single fucking rule, whether it applies to this situation or not, it didn't.  I confronted her, lost my cool, reported her to my manager.  Blah, blah, blah.  Nothing changes. 

I did have a job interview for another job, still within my hospital, but in outpatients.  We shall see.  I did cry during the interview, which might not have been a good idea, like I have any control over my tear ducts.  The last question in the interview was, What is your purpose in life?  I talked about souls and journeys and love and then started crying.  What can I say?  I am who I am. 

I have decided not to keep Annie the beagle.  Although she is a lovely dog, it's more responsibility than I want right now.  It was a trial adoption and next weekend she will go to a foster home. 

I've also decided to open my own photography business, which terrifies me.  What if I'm not good enough?  What if I screw up?  I still don't really understand the technical side of photography but I'm learning it.  I'm the kind of person who learns by doing.  My big guy bought me a lovely filter for my birthday in September which I learned how to use.  I love it!  I can learn.  I just have to believe that my work is worth money and work out the logistics. 

It's a beautiful day here today, warm, sunny and all the leaves have changed color.  I'm off to the river valley to take photos.

Take care.


  1. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying during an interview. It shows gentleness and compassion. I would want nothing less in a nurse. In fact, crying during an interview would be the reason I would hire you over someone as equally qualified.

    I am glad you are considering a move. This caring for the dying is exhausting. For me it has only been three years but I am tired. It is time for a break.

    Beagles are difficult dogs. The have so much energy! Good for you for trying and good for you for realizing she needs more than you can give.

    My sister does professional photography and we only see a small snippet of the thousands of pictures she takes. Those ones are amazing. All the others end up deleted. I imagine that is the way with most photographers.

  2. I am so excited that you're going to venture out and do some professional photography. I think you're remarkably gifted for what that's worth -- and your tears sound, to me, like they were appropriate.

  3. I hope your interviewer saw the tears as a good sign, of empathy.

    And good luck on the photography venture!

  4. I wish that I had your courage. For most of my adult life, I have secretly longed to teach English Literature. I've never done a thing about it.