A nearby storm pond apparently has at least one beaver living there, judging by the two downed trees with teeth marks. Wonder if the county knows? I'm not telling them.
I go to a pottery class put on the county of Strathcona. They have asked us in the past what they can do to improve the class. All of us said that they can make the class three hours long. We want more clay time, not less. Right now we get fourteen classes, every Monday morning and every other Wednesday, excluding stat holidays. This is what we asked for.
After clay time, we go back to the old farmhouse and have tea together and chat about whatever we want to. It's a 55+ group and I suppose it's supposed to support seniors. Yesterday the young woman who runs the program joined us; she never has before.
We chatted a little and then she said that going forward, the program would only be running on Mondays, no reason given. She had a suggestion though, there are free programs offered by Gallery@510 every Wednesday morning where we can sign up and learn different crafts, not clay. She spoke at length about the different "fun" things we could learn. She even brought a catalogue with photos!
I stopped talking and left early. I felt like we had been treated like old ladies/children, who couldn't manage to do things for ourselves, women who needed her help to figure things out. We were a problem that she needed to solve. Why, I don't know, but I felt it. If the program needs to be cut, tell us why. We all pay for the program. It's not free.
We are a core group of six women who are have been going there for 2-3 years. Our ages range from 63-73. Some of the women are widows, some are still married. Between all of us we have raised seventeen children. We have navigated abusive partners, divorce, widowhood, raising children alone, and grief. We are not stupid. We are not children. All that we want is someplace to go and work with clay, while we learn about pottery, and support each other. It keeps us off the streets:)
I was angry yesterday when I got in my car to leave. I felt like I had been condescended to and I haven't felt that way in years. If seniors face this kind of treatment (and I'm guessing yes) on a regular basis, I can tell you that I am going to be one angry old(er) lady and there will be swearing.
I'd have a firm word with her supervisor. Does she think you're working in clay because you can't think of anything else? Here's another AOL. Angry Old Lady.
ReplyDeleteI like that.
DeleteYou might get some practice speaking up, which I admit finding more challenging than being angry. I'd be pissed off too but also think it wise to walk away as you did and let your reactions percolate.
ReplyDeleteWe go back on Monday for pottery class and I will speak up and ask questions. I'm also looking at options for more clay time, once again.
DeleteWhy can't people just tell the truth about these things? Perhaps you should all go to her together and ask for the reason that the every other Wednesday was cut? Explain to her that adults need to be respected and changes need to be explained. It sounds like she needs to understand how you all feel about being treated like children.
ReplyDeleteNot everybody felt like I did. They mentioned that the young woman is Dutch or German and just blunt. Perhaps but that doesn't explain why the reason for cutting back on the program was not addressed.
DeleteInteresting you should say that. Cathy was just saying last night that German people and possibly Swedes can come across as matter-of-fact and brief, or blunt, and that it's their way or maybe the way of their language.
DeleteQuel co-ink-ee-dink. Speaking of which, I just subscribed to the podcast of This American Life because they're doing a show about coincidences.
I don't blame you for being angry, I would have been angry too. When I read your fourth paragraph, I started not liking this woman. I thought to myself that she sounded condescending.
ReplyDeleteI think she's young. Young people, myself included when I was young, think they know better often. They dismiss experience and wisdom so easily.
DeleteThis sounds so frustrating. (But I must say I laughed out loud when you said "it keeps us off the streets.") Still though, I'd be pissed too.
ReplyDeleteI let the anger go but will follow up. We're paying for the classes. WTF.
DeleteI would feel the same as you, especially for a program that isn't free. Was she afraid of a mutiny from the group, so she over-explained and tried to make "nice" with unwelcome information? Being nervous about others' reactions can make people sound a way they don't mean; is she usually condescending? Anyway, I'm sorry for the frustration and the loss of a fun Wednesday activity. :(
ReplyDeleteI've never met the young woman before, I just knows that she runs the programming for Smeltzer House. If she's Dutch or German, that might explain some of it:)
DeleteBefore I got nuclear reactor level upset, I would do my best to try and find out why the Wednesday classes were cut. I have no idea why the young woman who gave y'all the news couldn't or wouldn't tell you but there has to be a reason. Of course no reason is good enough to excuse her condescension. And yes. I have noticed a lot more of that since I've gotten older. It is NOT a good feeling. I never know quite what to do as it's hard to call out what looks like condescension to me but perhaps is not. Am I too sensitive? But I don't want to let it pass without notice, either.
ReplyDeleteThis really is an issue that will affect all of us if we live long enough. I think it is helpful that as we age we also become less afraid to speak our minds and sometimes that is just what we need to do.
I'll ask more questions on Monday. I still try to be polite, which is why I just left.
DeleteThat sucks! The least they can do is explain the change. I was hoping you could do more with clay, not less.
ReplyDeleteI want more clay time, not less!
DeleteAs Margaret said, maybe she was nervous about having to tell you that the Wednesday programme had been cut and it came over all wrong. For me personally that kind of behaviour just goes right over my head (as do so many other things) and I thank god for that. It does seem a bit weird that she wouldn't tell you why the other programme had been cut though. Maybe it's a bit like teenagers who "know everything" and their parents are stupid, yet by the time they hit their late 20s it's amazing how much more intelligent their parents have become!
ReplyDeleteI feel everything before I hear it. I feel tone of voice, I feel their body language, I feel excuses, and then I hear what they are saying. It's shocking how often the two don't match up and I've only realized this as I get older. I always thought it was me who was crazy or wrong, when the problem was actually people saying one thing but meaning something else.
DeleteI can't say I've been treated as a stupid old person, but perhaps the time will come. And while we may not be digital natives, we do know our way around computers and phones. I think the person's language and actions could be described as condescending, at the very least.
ReplyDeleteWomen learn early on that they will be treated as stupid people, less than men. I'm just not going back to feeling that way.
DeleteSo disappointing about the pottery class cut-backs. Yes, you should have been told the reasons behind it, I agree!
ReplyDeleteI will bring it up again on Monday, just didn't want to do it when I was angry.
DeleteI suppose she thought she was helping by offering alternatives, but I can see how that would seem condescending. And yeah, they should give you a reason! That's not too much to ask.
ReplyDelete