I had a lovely dream this morning about one of my best friend's daughters. This is Shirley with her oldest daughter who will be turning 29 next month. Shirley died in 2015 of cancer and I still dream about her, but the dream this morning was about her youngest daughter and it was so nice to see her, even if it was only in my dreams.
I took this photo of the big pond a couple of days ago. There's been so much rain that the ponds are doing well and the water levels are high. The pelicans have moved from one pond to the other as well. The white birds on the water are pelicans who summer here every year. Lac La Biche has a massive summer pelican population and we have six but I love seeing these six arrive every spring. There used to be eight but two must have died, hopefully of old age.
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We rented a bin this past weekend to throw out the damaged flooring and drywall from the basement flooding. Then we removed part of the decking in the back yard around the window well. The decking was rotting and the slope was downwards towards the house which would explain the flooding. The decking was built years ago and many of the screws were impossible to undo so my husband had to pry the boards up with a crowbar, one at a time. Brute strength was required.
Instead of rebuilding the deck, we have a huge deck, this part of the yard will just be planted with grass and clover seed, after more soil is added to repair the slope. No need to repaint or repair in the coming years, just cutting the grass which will be easier in the long run.
Jack slept in his own bed last night, all night. This is the first time he's slept alone in the last nine months. He stayed with his grandma and mom on Halloween and his mom watched a scary movie with him, because she's such a good mom and only thinks about herself. So for nine months, Jack has been sleeping with us, disrupting our sleep. He felt safer sleeping with us and we want him to feel safe, but it was hard. He's feeling better now thankfully. He had a good night sleep he said. Nine months and his mom, grandma, and aunt remains oblivious to the harm she does to him.
He is seeing a trauma counselor now which I'm hoping will help him in the long run.
Katie had a rough day yesterday and started to attack me in the car on the way home, not a lot, but trying to pull my hair. I got her home and in the house and then she started to crying and hitting her face. I gave her an ativan and hoped for the best. I have no idea what was going on with her and often we never do. She has a hard life sometimes.
Life goes on:)
That's good that Jack is finally sleeping alone, better for everyone. But what a long time for that fear to abate. I hope his counseling is useful in sorting out his anxieties and fears.
ReplyDeleteAnd poor Katie, such a puzzle to know what triggered her, and as you say, often you don't. That's hard to live with.
For all that, you're sounding better than you have in a while.
He only lasted one night on his own, but it's progress:)
DeleteOh, that last meme, hahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteBloody cats. They are never boring though.
DeleteAs I said before, getting all the work done that needs doing after the flood has got to give you a good feeling. You and your husband should be proud of that. But you should be even more proud of giving Jack the space and time he needs to recover from his traumas. That is huge. And hard. There is no bin you can rent to throw the things in that happened which no longer serve him, that made his life the difficult one it is.
ReplyDeleteIt was a good feeling when the truck arrived this morning to haul the bin away. Now I'm waiting to hear from the contractor, and I have to buy baseboards.
DeleteWhat bothers me the most about his mom's family, is how oblivious to the harm his mom has done to him. And then I worry that I am screwing him up as well. Sigh.
What a relief for Jack to be sleeping by himself again. I'm so sorry about Katie.
ReplyDeleteIt lasted one night, but we all had a good sleep:)
DeleteWhen I dream about people long gone, it too feels like a gift.
ReplyDeleteI miss Shirley. She was a funny, stubborn woman with the best laugh. She was a good mom too.
DeleteGracie annoys me mightily, you just do not show scary movies to young kids. Glad you're getting the basement and the window wells whipped into shape.
ReplyDeleteYou would think that would be a no brainer but then my brother reminded me of when he watched "Tremors" with my son one night when he babysat for me.
DeleteI remember the scary movie incident but didn't realize that Jack was still sleeping with you. Poor guy! My younger daughter used to come into bed with us for many years. When she was light enough, I would carry her back until I couldn't manage it. She slept on the outside which pushed me into the middle, squished like a sardine. It wasn't restful. So sorry that Katie had a bad day; I wish she could tell you what was wrong. :( I often have dreams where my husband is alive. In the early days, I would wake up thinking that his death was only a dream.
ReplyDeleteIt only lasted one night and now Jack's back in poppa's bed. Poor guy. Baby steps. Doesn't make for the best sleep though.
DeleteI wish Katie could tell me what's wrong. I know there's something wrong, but not what set her off.
Dreams are strange things. I woke up so happy that I had spent time with Shirley's daughter, even though I know it was only inside of my head.
I'm so sorry you Lost your Friend Shirley, but it's nice that you're having good Dreams about her Dear Daughter. So sorry to hear Miss Katie had such a bad day, so hard when you have no idea what's going on with them Mentally, isn't it? I feel that way about our Two Schizophrenics here. The Daughter recently went Off Rails quite suddenly and her living Space became quite unsanitary and unsafe, so we had to address that immediately. She's doing better again, came back Online so to speak, Mentally, and it's like it never happened and she couldn't really explain why it even did. Life does indeed go on... The bottom Meme not only looks like our Eli, but he recently bit his Human really badly and it required an Urgent Care visit... we think she may have rolled onto him in her Sleep coz he Sleeps with her and might have been startled coz he's never put his Teeth thru anything quite like that before... but the Meme reminded me of the Incident.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if menopause affects schizophrenia, and is your daughter at that stage of life. I can't even imagine having schizophrenia, I can imagine many things, but not that. I also don't know how you keep going, caring for everybody. I think I would run away:)
DeleteI didn't realize Eli bit Princess T. Poor girl, it's good that she got medical care. I imagine you're tired of hospitals and urgent care.
Sending hugs to you Dawn.
I can't believe Gracie could be so stupid as to watch a horror film with such a little boy. You're right, they are totally oblivious (and selfish, and thoughtless and ....)!
ReplyDeleteI can believe it sadly but I don't understand why her mom and sister don't see the damage she has done to her son.
DeleteI love the photo of the pond. I didn't realize that you had pelicans in Alberta!
ReplyDeleteJack is lucky to have you in his life. That poor kid. In a perfect world, humans should have to apply to be parents as some people are simply not cut out for it.
We have a lot of pelicans in Alberta, they summer here. The same with Sandhill cranes.
DeleteIf parents had to apply to be a parent, had to pass a test, I imagine the birthrate would drop to 5%.
I have a friend who died in 2016 who I dream about from time to time. Like you say, it's nice to see her.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to see people in my dreams. I used to dream about my old house too. I had a key and would visit it, in my dreams, until one day the new owner told me that it was time to give her back the key. I haven't dreamed of that house since.
DeleteIt made me very happy to see her youngest doing so well.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long year so far:)
Recently I read somewhere about a study done with parents asked, if they had it to do over again, would they still have children? And 70% said no! -Kate
ReplyDeleteNot a surprise really:)
DeleteThis may be a recycled version of what actually happened many decades ago. An advice columnist (ann landers?) after responding to somebody who had written to say she regretted having children asked her readers to write in telling her whether they were glad or sorry they had children.. a big majority said they were sorry. This now gets taught in elementary statistics classes; it's a voluntary response sample. And people who are unhappy are much more likely to respond than people who are happy. A proper random sampling after this showed that the majority of people were happy they'd had children.
DeleteBut I'm not sure these days the answer would be the same..
Send rain, please.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you never just do nothing, right?
To answer your question, no:)
Deletelife goes on indeed !
ReplyDeleteIt’s good Jack has you to help him feel safe in the world and good that he can say when isn’t feeling safe. Nine months of repair because of one movie though! What was his mom thinking!
ReplyDelete