Another photo from the biosphere on the weekend.
I reduced my blood pressure medication by half yesterday in the hopes that I won't bite anyone's head off, or kill the cat. The insomnia persisted last night but it wasn't as bad as the night before, so that's something. I told my girlfriend that I wanted to bite everyone's head off and shit down their necks, and then I wanted to cry about wanting to bite their head's off. It feels like really bad PMS. I'm back to the doctor in a week and a half for a discussion about the medication.
I mentioned to my husband that I was kind of grumpy this past week and he wholeheartedly agreed and I apologized.
When I was talking to my girlfriend, she mentioned how tired she was of her family here in Edmonton and how they treat her (like she's the rich auntie and that she will just pay for anything or everything, because she used to). They don't respect her and she blames a university education on that. I don't agree with her but I do agree that they are entitled young people who want to blame anyone else rather than look in the mirror.
She's considering to moving to Victoria even more strongly than before. I pointed out to her that her cancer is not going to get better or go away. When she was first diagnosed, the doctor gave her ten years, that was eight years ago. In the past year she's had pneumonia twice (one of the most common causes of death among multiple myeloma patients). I told her that she should move, that she needs her family, she needs her children to take care of her. She has spent her entire life taking care of everyone else, now they need to take care of her.
Then I started crying, I told her that I loved her and would take care of her here, but she needs her children. We are both straight talkers, her and I, part of the reason we're friends. I hope she moves so that she can spend what time she has with her children and her grandchild.I'm off to pottery this morning, to make me not sad:)
And yes, I know this too shall pass.
I'm taking a page out of your bp-med book and cutting down my recommended daily dose of calcium. There are three pills that are to be taken individually either two hours before or after any other med or supplement; well have fun squeezing 'em all into a day, I say. Also, I suspect all that calcium has been doing a number on my guts. So one of those horse pills has gone back into the bottle; maybe I have to work up to the full dosage slowly instead of consuming 1000mg a day right off the hop.
ReplyDeleteI hope the change you're making will be what you need. -Kate
Calcium is so constipating, fyi, but I'm guessing you know that now:)
DeleteI'm feeling better already thank goodness and even slept well last night, what a difference.
I have not heard that "rip your head off" quote in decades. 1st time I saw it was on a mechanic's tool box in the Boeing Company factory in Everett WA where they built 747s. He had a big sign on the front of his tool box that read: "You touch my Keller and I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck." (a Keller is an expensive precision hand tool) I chuckled for days on that one. Hope you find a state of equilibrium on your BP meds soon. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling much better on the half dose. We'll see what my blood pressure does. Rip your head off and shit down your neck is not an uncommon feeling for women who have PMS, and yet we don't do it. Just shows you how much self control women do have:)
DeleteHere's hoping the medication changes do some good. I wonder if your friend simply needs an extended stay in Victoria rather than moving entirely -- seems like a big change to make at her stage of life. But of course you know her and her circumstances better than I do. Wasn't that "rip off your head" line from a movie, or at least used in one?
ReplyDeleteMy friend will be going there this winter for the birth of her grandchild, but I hope she stays there. Her time is short sadly.
DeleteI feel bad for your friend, and you. This is such a sad situation for everybody. Is your doctor wedded to this bp drug. There are so many on the market now, couldn't he try something else?
ReplyDeleteAll of the BP meds have side effects of one sort or another. I've cut the dose in half and I'm already feeling much better. We'll see what my blood pressure has to say about it:)
DeleteI'm glad you're revisiting your medication. No point in being miserable now in the hope of not being worse in future! There's plenty of bp options, so maybe your doctor can prescribe one that works and still makes life worth living. You're entitled to feel well.
ReplyDeleteThanks Liz. I am feeling better on the lower dose. Time will tell.
DeleteYou may want to cry about ripping off people's heads, but I notice you didn't say you want to cry about shitting down people's necks. Atta girl!
ReplyDeleteLOL. Thanks Debra.
DeleteI must be in the right age bracket or a soft touch, because social media wants me to read stories about miracle non-drug options for high blood pressure - my issue has always been low blood pressure, so obviously my medical history isn't factoring into the algorithm.
ReplyDeleteYou're lucky then. Social media seems to lump everyone together, throw it at the wall and see what sticks.
Deleteeh - I will never be a pilot because of the LBP thing, and while I may not get the same slide as those with HBP, it comes with its own "as you age" warnings.
DeleteThat side effect sucks! I hope reducing the dosage helps. ❤️
ReplyDeleteIt has helped Jean. Thanks.
DeleteYeah. There's no reason for you to have to go through this side-effect hell. Get thee to the prescriber and hash this out.
ReplyDeleteI like what Debra She Who Waits Said
I tend to have a lot of side effects from drugs, my dad was the same way. I'm feeling better on the lower dose.
DeleteI've had lengthy discussions with the grandchild about feelings and how it messes up your day when there are too many of the big ones. I was informed by this 7-yr old that it's because of the amygdala having a hard time and that we need to be friends with it
ReplyDeleteJust sharing this here for what it's worth.
Jack just turned 7. I didn't realize our grandchildren were the same age. I remember when Jack was in kindergarten and he was pacing around the kitchen and he asked me if I knew what an amygdala was, and then he added, it's in the brain. Too funny.
DeleteBig emotions do mess up a day, your grandchild is so right.
I hope your pottery class gave you a respite from it all. My heart goes out to your friend who is contemplating a move to Victoria. That's a hard decision to make. I think I am at the point where my BP medication needs to be increased as it is slowly creeping up. I am on lisinopril right now. Maybe the cankles in chief in DC is the cause of the elevated BP readings.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think trump is doing that to a lot of people. Pottery was wonderful yesterday. Those ladies have become such wonderful friends.
DeleteIt sounds like decreasing the dose has helped your mood. My mood would be significantly better if we decreased ineptitude in a certain place in the US.
ReplyDeleteMy mood seems back to normal thank goodness. The entire world's mood would be better without trump and his minions.
DeleteBy decreasing the dose, you've connected the medication to your symptoms. I know high blood pressure can kill you but being often cranky and not being able to sleep aren't acceptable either. You gave excellent advice to your friend; you were open and honest with her. I have a friend with multiple myeloma; she's in remission right now but I'm not sure how long that will last.
ReplyDeleteMultiple myeloma never stops sadly. You can slow it down only.
DeleteI'm feeling much better this morning and my BP is doing well also:)
If I had to feel that bad for the rest of my life, I would want a shorter life. It was horrible.
Urging a good friend to go and leave you behind - that's true friendship. But with modern technology you can still keep very much in touch. As you have told her, she needs to be with her family and not alone for the endgame.
ReplyDeleteI have told her that I would take care of her when she needs it, but time with a grandchild would be better spent. We'll see what happens.
Delete