Two of the mugs that I made this last session.  I used plants, pressed into the clay, to make the imprints.  The ferns are from my garden and the wild grass is from my walks with the dogs.  The glaze is faux celadon.

Sabine asked me to list my coping strategies to deal with ADHD that I've learned the hard way.

When I was young, I was always late for everything.  I would leave home at the time I was supposed to be someplace.  Over the years I've learned to think backwards to get to places on time, which usually works, but not 100% of the time.  If I have an appointment for 10 am, I know I need to shower and get dressed (20-30 min), drive there (the other end of Sherwood Park is 10-15 min, Edmonton is usually 30 min to downtown).  If I need to pick up Katie for a doctor appointment, her house is 15 minutes away, takes 10 minutes to get her in the car, and to get to her doctor is 30 minutes.  Google maps has really helped with this because it can tell you how long the drive is.  I then just back up the time, so I know when I have to shower and leave the house.  I usually build in extra time for things I didn't expect, like long lights.  I'm also teaching Jack this.  It probably sounds pretty basic but when I was young, it was not basic for me.  It took a long time to learn.

Small talk is difficult for me.  I much prefer in depth, personal conversations, which a lot of people really don't feel comfortable with.  Nursing helped me there.  I learned to make small talk with people while I was caring for them.  Working in diagnostic imaging also helped because we had the same people over and over again.  I often remembered my patients, at the beginning anyway, and they appreciated that I remembered them.  I ask questions.  People usually like to talk about themselves and I let them.  I also listen and I try not to interrupt.  I also make my responses personal as well, so that there is a connection.  Having a good memory helped, although that ship has sailed:)

Understanding that I need quiet time was big for me.  I had three kids, one disabled/autistic, two with ADHD, and an alcoholic ex husband.  Our house was chaotic but I tried so hard to make it a stable, peaceful place.  I don't know that I was that successful but I tried so fucking hard.  Katie especially needed a quiet place, a predictable place, which helped me.  It was hard for me to slow down and accept peace, but I think she made me and that helped me more than I realized.  

I make lists about everything.  What I need to do, where I need to go, groceries lists, and I have a calendar with everything on it.  I also use tricks to remind me.  If I am doing laundry, but need to get something from upstairs, I leave the basket in the hallway so I will see it and it will remind me when I come back downstairs that I am doing laundry.  If I'm warming up clothes in the dryer to fold them, I will leave the light on in the laundry room to remind me so that the clothes don't warm up for another 20 minutes when they only need a few minutes to get the wrinkles out.  If I need to clean the bathtub, I'll sprinkle the cleaner in the bathtub and then I can't even use the bathtub until I clean it.  My keys always go in my purse, I use muscle memory a lot.  It helps if I leave things in the same place all the time too.  When I go to a mall or a store, I try to always park in the same place, to help me find the car again.  Routines help me a lot.  I also use timers now so I don't get lost doing something and all of a sudden 30 or 60 minutes have passed without me realizing it.

I also have a hard time with overstimulation.  Busy, noisy places drain me and I avoid them now.  I seek out quiet spaces like the dog park and the woods.  That helps calm me.  

Exercise has also always helped me.  I lifted weights and did cardio in the gym for years and then in my late thirties I discovered race walking.  The exercise was wonderful, but so were the people.  I understand now how much walking helps calm my mind and my body, especially when I'm upset or angry.

Learning more about ADHD has really helped too.  Understanding how my brain is wired, why I do the things I do, has made me feel less crazy and too much, and more accepting of myself.  I'm not doing this on purpose.  My ex always told me I was too much, so did my family.  Too loud.  Too dramatic.  Too emotional, just too fucking much.  I was a disappointment to my ex husband, to my children, to my coworkers, to my friends and to my parents and siblings.  That weighs pretty heavy on a person and no wonder I ended up depressed.

Now I understand a lot better why I am the way I am.  I'm not a bad person, not a crazy person, and not too much.  I am just me.  Someone who loves hard, who feels deeply, who talks too much about personal stuff, who has a hard time sitting still, who loves learning new skills and then wants to move on to learn another new skill, who loves both stimulation and peace and quiet, and someone who is finally starting to love herself (warts and all).