I took Charlie out for a walk yesterday and came across the first of the wild roses.  I waited a while for the bee to be done and leave, but that didn't happen.  That bee was getting all of the pollen in that rose.   
 

We also came across these anemones.  They were beside the pathway, on the outside of someone's fence.  Someone had taken the time to plant them for everybody to enjoy.

Yesterday morning was lovely and sunny.  The lilacs are ready to bust out.  The cat loves being outside this time of year.  She moves from the sun to the shade, and then back again.  She can't get out of the yard, her arthritis is too bad for her to get over the fence, so she has to make do with the mice she finds in the yard.

My husband woke me up at 1:34 this morning to tell me that Charlie has an ear infection and that he wouldn't stop shaking his head (the dog, not my husband).  "You need to do something," he said.

"Now?" I said.  I got up and tried to clean Charlie's ear with a damp cloth and there is old blood in his ear. I gently rubbed inside of his ear and he moaned.  I've made an appointment for him this afternoon.  Charlie is not a fan of the vet, and the vet is not a fan of Charlie, but I need more antibiotics for the poor guy.  I'll put his muzzle on and we'll get it done.  And then I'll have to muzzle him each time I put the drops in his ears.  He trusts me more than he did two years ago, but still not that much.  He's an anxious dog.

I'm done building at pottery.  Our last building class was this morning and then next week we have two days to glaze everything.  I've made a fair bit this time around and I am improving.  I'll have photos when everything is glazed and fired.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words about my poem.  I have a hard time publishing poems, because, what if someone doesn't like it.  What if it's no good.  I liked it and I needed to get it out of my brain. 

Last week I was sick and then I was cleaning out my old condo, again.  I think being in my old condo, putting it up for sale, again, brought back a lot of old memories.  And then I started reading "My Friends" by Fredrik Backman which is a sad book about grief and anxiety and childhood friends, I cried and I cried, and then I cried some more.  I think I just needed to let go of that grief and I do feel better now.  Grief is strange and hits sometimes out of the blue, even grief that you think you're past.  I bought that condo when my ex-husband and I split up.  It was my safe place, my place to start over, and I did.  I met my hubby when I lived there, and then he lived in the condo with me.  Our life grew and we moved on to this house.  Now it's time to let the condo, and all that it meant to me, go.

UPDATE:  My husband said I made him look like an asshole by waking me up.  He didn't know what to do about Charlie.  He said, Charlie was going crazy.

do trees grieve

do they silently shed a tear,

a small drop of fluid

expressed at the tip

of a leaf

to be drunk by a

passing bee,

unaware of the

tree's grief

do they close up

their stomata, and

hold their breath

at the first sign 

of smoke,

a harbinger

of death

do they mourn

the death of their

fellow trees after

a fire

reaching down into

the mycleium

unable to reach

another tree,

radio silence

do they wish 

for another life,

a life in which

they could pull up their

roots, and move

start over

are trees ever lonely

do they miss their leaves

and what of their seeds,

scattered to the wind

their children and

grandchildren

unknown to them

do trees miss

their fallen limbs,

unspoken promises,

their connections

with others

when they lose their footing

when their connections

are lost

do they grieve

 I'm just taking a break, nothing wrong.  

We finally got some rain and I could almost hear the earth sigh with gratitude.  Sadly, the temperature dropped, a lot, and it's not so pleasant outside.

I bought some petunias, and other flowers to plant this weekend.  I'd never seen this kind of petunia before.  I can't remember the name of them, but they came about because of growers trying to develop a green petunia.  I quite like the green edges.

The oak trees are leafing out, they are always late to the party.  I'm not sure what kind of oak they are, but I bury their acorns in the fall, in the hopes that more will grow.  The spruce seedlings that I transplanted along the back pathway have all survived and hopefully, one day will be huge trees.  Not in my lifetime, but one day.

I walked the dogs yesterday and all of the mayday, crabapple, and chokecherry trees are blooming.  The scent was so strong that it eventually hurt my nose.  Ridiculous, I know.

Very little going on in my life.  Jack is doing relatively well, eating well, sleeping well, and generally easy to get along with.  I'm sure that will change, but we're enjoying it.  He's loving his swim lessons and he also loves singing (I am not a singer but his mama has a beautiful voice), so I'll look for singing lessons for him in the fall.  He still struggles with school, but we'll see if the biphentin helps.

We're taking Jack to Jasper next month for four nights which will be a nice break.  There is a pool at the hotel, which he'll love.  We'll spend lots of time outdoors which is good for all of us.  My pottery instructor ( a lovely young woman) is going to animal and house sit for us, so no dogs to worry about either.  

Katie is doing well on her new med.  Nothing bad happened this week, so far:)  Whose life is this?

The week in photos.  We have leaves on the trees.

Marsh marigolds.

Cat sunning herself on the table.

The pond is busy again.

A tree fort is being built in the half dead tree.

The crabapple is blooming.

 

I'm feeling meh today.  The sun is shining, that's not the problem.  I'm retired, work's not the problem.  Everyone is healthy, that's not the problem.  I even made something I really like in my pottery class.  I made a pitcher from watching a youtube video, so that's not the problem.

I huge part of the problem is the news, India and Pakistan, Ukraine and Russia, civil war in Sudan, Israel and Gaza/Lebannon/Yemen.  There are two children missing in Nova Scotia, a six year old and a four year old.  They wandered away from their home and live in a heavily forested area;  they still haven't been found and it's been six days.  I can't imagine how they can still be alive.  

Yesterday Gracie's apartment building had a massive fire.  Everyone got out and only one person ended up in hospital, but it's bad.  Gracie's cat is missing and she doesn't know if any of her stuff survived.  The building is L shaped and Gracie's apartment was quite far from where the fire started, but as you can see, this part of the building was damaged too.  This will be bad for Gracie's mental health and by extension, bad for Jack.  His room, and his stuff in his bedroom in her apartment, is probably all gone too.  I haven't told him yet.

There is so much suffering and pain in the world and it hurts me, sitting here safely in my home.  What do I have to complain about?

I feel like having a good cry and I probably will.  Then I'll go work in the garden and walk the dogs and enjoy the sunshine because it's supposed to rain tomorrow.  I hope the dirt and the sun and the birds will perform their magic and bring me some peace again.

My girlfriend and I went to a greenhouse yesterday and we had so much fun.  We hadn't seen each other in person since last fall I think.  We've known each other for thirty-three years and even if we haven't seen each other in awhile, we just start up the conversation where it was left off.  Her husband died three years ago and that woman is happy as a clam to be living alone.  We walked into the greenhouse laughing and giggling like two school girls and spent three hours there, looking at every single plant.  We stopped for a quick lunch and then went right back at it.  It was good for my soul.  We even talked about going out to Vancouver this summer to visit our respective children.  We'll see.

It's been a busy week, pottery twice, yard work, another retaining wall built.  I'm getting good at building them and operating the power tools required to build them.  I have a fondness for power tools.  I'm not the strongest woman physically, so power tools are wonderful and make the work much easier.

Jack is doing well thankfully.  He's outside everyday and so much happier.  No video games or computer time and what a difference, (even though it's only half an hour a day).  He woke up this morning because "My eyes are hot!".  I had no idea what to do about that.  I did manage to get him back into bed, but it didn't take, and he was up about 5:30am.  He was also irritated with me because I couldn't offer any remedies for the "hot eyes".  For the most part though, happy, eating well, no sass, no tantrums.  He started swimming lessons again this week, but they're after supper and he did well.  He was concerned because I brought pyjamas for him to get into after the lessons were over.  What would the other kids think?  I assured him that other kids would be wearing their pyjamas and sure enough, one of the girls from his daycare is also in lessons, and was also wearing her jammies home.

Summer, or I guess still spring, just feels so easy.  No ice or snow.  It's light out after supper.  We sit on the deck and Jack plays in the back yard.  The windows are open and I can hear the birds outside.  The days are long and full of light.  It's the six months of light surrounding the summer solstice.  

Today I have an exciting day planned.  Wash the dog blankets, vacuum and wash the floors, walk the dogs, and work in the garden.  Even though I'm not a fan of housework, I do like a clean house, so needs must.