We went to court on Tuesday and the living arrangements for Jack remain unchanged for the next nine months and we go back to court in April to see how things are working out. This gives us and Jack some stability. Gracie agreed to it which is the first time she has ever put her son first. It was a nice surprise. I asked her if she had a job and she said no, her boyfriend was supporting her, so that's great. I've never met the guy but he thinks Gracie is a catch. I guess we'll see how that pans out. It's always such a good thing for women to rely on men to pay all their bills.
Otherwise, retirement seems to be going well. Yesterday I tried to change the lawnmower blade, twice, but both blades did not fit. More research required, but I did take a file to the blade and sharpened it. I also did some mending and shortened a summer dress that was too tight around my legs to take a proper long step. I also decided to go visit my brother in August, by myself. I'm hoping we'll both work on repairing our relationship.
In another surprise this week, my oldest sister sent me a card thanking me for taking care of mum all those years ago. Mum died in 2013 and I had virtually no support from my siblings at the time, plus I had work and Katie to take care of. They then had a family meeting, without me, and decided what should happen to mum, without me, her primary caregiver. I had a lot of anger attached to my grief and haven't talked to my oldest sister since mum died. This same sister also made my life hell when I got pregnant with my son forty-one years ago. She's almost eighty now and I've forgiven her but I don't really want her back in my life. She's not the nicest person. We'll see. Families are hard.
Sounds like your sister is doing some soul searching! Give her a chance! Wish my own sister would reach out! Ugh!
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you and Jack that you're going to have uninterrupted time together!
My sister hasn't been well. Hip replacements and a car accident, as well as fatty liver. I will give her a chance, from a distance.
DeleteI need one of those pools. Water guns I have no problem with. You have some peace of mind over Jack for awhile. I hope Gracie turns herself around, maybe this guy will be good for her.
ReplyDeleteThose pools are $20 at Walmart:)
DeleteI imagine this guy will either be good for Gracie, or a huge fucking nightmare. I'm hoping for the first.
I'm melting in this heat too -- I need a drive-by shooting with that water gun, lol!
ReplyDeleteDrive on out to Sherwood Park. I'll shoot you with the water gun:)
DeleteThat's great that you've found ways to stay cool! Yeah, always a good thing to be dependent on a guy for complete support. (not) Do you think that's why Gracie is OK letting go of Jack? She's busy with a relationship, FOR NOW so uninterested in parental responsibilities. That's cynical of me. My estranged sister-in-law sent me a card when my first grandson was born but I didn't respond. I still remember the drama, the accusations and the lack of support from my late husband's family. I don't need that toxicity back in my life.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't think any woman should ever be dependent on a man. I told my niece that when she was a teenager and fortunately she heeded my advice and became a teacher.
DeleteI imagine part of Gracie not fighting us about Jack is because of the new relationship, she can focus on that for now.
Family, can't get born without them, can't live with them. I also grew up in an angry house, and that convinced me not to reproduce. Just did not want to inflict that on another small person. Here's hoping that things remain copacetic with Gracie, and that Jack grows and prospers. Happy retirement!
ReplyDeleteThanks and perhaps I should spent more time thinking about being a parent, than having a baby when I was young, perhaps things would have turned out differently. Hindsight.
DeleteI am glad that Jack has more of a chance for stability, hopefully for longer than nine months. I remember growing up in upstate NY, when it was hot, it was miserable. We weren't used to it, and no one had air conditioning.
ReplyDeleteWe're not used to it either. Thankfully it is a little cooler today. Jack, like all kids, needs stability.
DeleteI hope it cools off for you soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that living arrangements for Jack will remain as they are. Has anyone checked out this new boyfriend? Is he at the house when Jack's there?
Thanks for sending me the link to the article about Alice Monro's daughter.
As to your sister- you can definitely forgive someone and still not want to be around them.
Nobody has met the new boyfriend yet. I would like to meet him and check him out for sure.
DeleteThat's some heat. Families are a curse. Often distance is better.
ReplyDeleteBut the news about Jack are so good! Well done.
I love that, families are a curse:)
DeleteI'm happy for us and happy for Jack.
That's a nice little catch up with your life. The card from your sister is rather surprising so many years later. Guilt must have been weighing heavily for a long time. Will Ferrell's suggestion is a good one.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's strange to get a thank you from my sister all these years later. That last funny quote by Will Ferrell make me laugh out loud. Too true.
Delete37paddington—the older I get the more understand that all families are deeply complicated, with many estrangements stemming from end of life conflicts over elders’ care. Apologies in such cases are rare. I wonder if it might be healing to you both to acknowledge your sister’s? In any case, you lived it. You know what’s best.
ReplyDeleteI'll email her back but I'm not holding my breath. We'll see. And yes, families are complicated, as are people:)
DeleteI just made up with one of my sisters after at least 6 years of not speaking. She stopped drinking and apologized to me. I am now polite to her, and occasionally send her pictures of my grandchildren. But I keep it light, and am ready to let it all go if need be. It is tiring, dealing with family who have or still misbehave. It is often easier without having them in our lives. It is nearly impossible to trust them again. But if she is nice to me, I will be nice to her.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Right now I don't have any contact with my son because as soon as I do, he starts to manipulate. I can't have that in my life right now.
DeleteThat's fantastic news about Jack. I'm sure it's such a relief for you all. And as for your sister, hmmmmmm. I/we haven't spoken to my sister since 2016 when mom died but that is by her choice not ours. The only thing we did was send in the Treaders army when her bastard, cheating husband abandoned her and her kids, stripped the house and set about getting his Russian internet "love" into their country (you can imagine how that turned out). So yeah, I don't know how I would react if this toxic sister tried to come back either!
ReplyDeleteI guess I'll see with regards to my sister. I still haven't emailed her so maybe I'm feeling ambivalent.
DeleteIt's encouraging that your sister sent that card. It sounds like she is trying to mend fences. Maybe there's a way to have periodic contact that won't involve really having her "in your life" -- or just there to a minor degree.
ReplyDeleteGreat news about Jack!
My sister lives on the other side of the country and can't travel now because of her arthritis, so we're unlikely to run into each other. I'm feeling ambivalent.
Delete