The light shining through the bedroom window caught my eye.
I turned sixty today but it doesn't feel different than any other day. My husband gave me a funny card about farting, because that's how we roll and tonight he's taking me out for supper. In two days my middle daughter arrives for a few days and I'm throwing myself a birthday party on Saturday.
I'm taking an online course right now, The Foundations of Grief. It's very interesting and informative.
The one thing that I learned that will be most helpful to me is that I can bear witness to the grief and sadness of another but I don't have to carry their grief for them; that is the definition of compassion. I've always been one to feel the pain of another and that's too much to bear at times/often. We all have our own grief and pain to deal with, adding the grief and pain of another is more than any of us should/can carry. It's only taken me sixty fucking years to learn this lesson but I suppose better late than never. Of course the hard part is the doing. We shall see.
So far I've discovered that I want to learn more about grief and helping others deal with grief which is something, something big for me, who is having a hard time staying on her feet, and needs to find another way of caring. I want to develop a program to help nurses in my hospital deal with their grief. I would like to develop rituals to help us remember and grieve for our patients and to simply acknowledge the grief that nurses feel when our patients die.
I'm learning a lot and realize how much more there is to learn about grief. I enjoy being a student.
I watched a wonderful movie yesterday, "Good Luck To You, Leo Grande" with Emma Thompson.
It's about sex, about aging and about acceptance, of ourselves and others. The trailer doesn't really give you a good idea about the movie is actually about. I would highly recommend it.
And that's it so far. A gentle day of sunshine and learning and making tomato sauce, because there are so many ripe tomatoes sitting on my counter and that's all I can smell:)