Liz at Field and Fen wondered what a snapshot of my life would look like.  This is what it looks like.  I spend a huge amount of time in my kitchen.  There is a bowl of ripe tomatoes that is waiting to be made into sauce.  I have a box and another bowl of tomatoes in the pantry ripening, and another bag of tomatoes downstairs ripening.  I'll have enough sauce to do us until next summer.

There is always a pile of paper on the island as well.  Right now it's under the tomatoes.  No matter how much I work at it, the pile remains.  The composition changes but the pile remains.

The flowers are from my birthday on the weekend, Jack picked out both bouquets for me, one with his poppa and one with his other family (which shocked me).  

My husband always leaves stuff on the island which I try to ignore but which I often just move into his office.  You can see cords and the blue thing is a handle that he 3D printed for his walking stick.

The drying tray always seems to have stuff drying in it.  There are lots of things I won't put in a dishwasher, water bottles, sippy cup, good cutlery, etc.  It only gets emptied when I have more dishes to do.

The container on the bottom right I made in pottery class to hold Jack's puffers and other crap.  There are meds on the counters that are used most days and there is a collection of meds by the paper towels that are new (for blood pressure, cholesterol, iron, and one for Jack).  If I don't leave them out, I won't see them and I will forget about them.  Out of sight, out of mind definitely applies to me.

You can also see the calendar which has everything written on it because otherwise I wouldn't remember:)

I don't mind being in the kitchen, but by the end of the day, I'm tired of it.  Sometimes it can take an hour or more to make supper, which is fine it it tastes good, but it seems like such a waste of time if the food is only meh.  I do try to make it taste good but I don't always succeed.  Tonight will be chicken fried rice, made with leftovers.

As I sit here at my desk typing I can hear pears dropping to the deck as the wind blows the tree around.  It's an ornamental pear tree. The pears aren't big enough to eat, but for some reason (I'm guessing all the rain), this year they're huge, big enough and hard enough to hurt if they hit you on the head.

I started pottery class again yesterday and we have a new instructor.  She has forty plus years of experience and she's already taught us so much we didn't know, in just one class.  I'm looking forward to learning more.

In an effort to avoid doing housework right away, I wasted half an hour looking at memes for y'all.  You're welcome:)

 

Death by Poetry

When they opened her up

she was riddled with poems.

They didn’t even try to transcribe.

They just sewed her up again and sent her home.

Three months later in the spring of the year

she died of poems,

her body alive with them–

protest poems in her spleen

love sonnets in both auricles of her enlarged heart

arteries clogged with blockage

her lungs so cloudy with poems

each breath must have been a labor

her breasts, hard as on the third day

when the milk comes in,

engorged with poems she could not let down

safe poems in situ–haiku tightly formed and cyclic

ruptured poems spilling infectious mixed metaphor

|into her abdominal cavity

an ectopic poem that could not gestate,

ready to burst the tube

that stretched in holding in its will to life,

parasitic poems

plagiarized and feeding on the good bacteria

one last magnificent poem, almost spoken,

lodged in her throat like a piece of steak.

Say only

that she died of beauty undigested

like rough rubies

and we need only read her death

to be gifted of it all.

Maureen Flannery

 

I'm back to long walks for Charlie which makes him happy I imagine, and I'm sleeping much better with more exercise and more fresh air.

I couldn't visit Katie on Sunday because I was sick and didn't want to infect her; I also didn't have the energy to care for her.  I called and cancelled.  Katie had a meltdown and this was the critical incident report I received.

After being informed that her mother would not be coming, Katie began to cry, scream,

and hit her head, hands, and nose. Staff attempted to de-escalate the situation by singing

songs and redirecting Katie to preferred topics, such as horses. Unfortunately, these

strategies were not effective at that time. To ensure Katie's safety and protect her from

injury, staff provided her with a pillow while also keeping a safe distance. As Katie's

behaviour escalated, it became increasingly challenging for staff to offer physical support.

Both staff members tried to administer Katie's PRN medication between 8:50 and 9:00

AM, but they were unable to do so. Eventually, Katie stopped hitting herself but continued

to cry. By 9:15 AM, staff determined that the best approach was to give Katie some space

while continuing to monitor her from a safe distance.

This is why I rarely cancel my visits with her.  Katie knows when it is Sunday.  She knows her mum visits on Sundays.  She likes her routines and doesn't cope well with disruptions to her routines.  All behavior is communication.

Katie's dad did visit this past week but Katie was anxious about that happening as well and this happened.

At approximately 9:05 a.m., overnight staff completed the shift exchange with the 9:00

a.m. staff for both individuals and left the residence. At that time, Katie was with staff, and

staff was working alone. Katie was communicating with staff using sign language and

indicating “baby” and “Dada.” Staff responded by reassuring Katie that her dad was

coming to pick her up today in a while. Staff then went to the washroom to wash her

hands. Katie also went to the washroom and subsequently followed staff when staff exited

the washroom.

Staff proceeded to the staff room, and Katie followed staff into the area. As Katie

approached staff, staff moved backwards to maintain space. Katie then grabbed staff’s

bag and threw it onto the floor. Staff observed that the bag and several personal

belongings were on the floor. Staff continued communicating with Katie in an attempt to

support her to remain calm. Staff reminded Katie that her dad was coming at

approximately 11:00 a.m. and encouraged her to leave the staff room and sit on the chair

near the entrance, where Katie usually sits. Katie initially did not respond to the redirection

and continued approaching staff. Staff continued using calm verbal communication and

encouraged Katie to leave the staff room. Katie eventually exited the staff room. While

Katie was outside the staff room, staff began picking up the belongings that had been

thrown onto the floor. As staff was picking up the belongings, Katie suddenly rushed

toward staff and grabbed staff’s hair near the scalp. Katie pulled staff toward herself while

holding staff’s shoulder with her other hand. Staff attempted to release Katie’s grip from

the shoulder and then attempted to release Katie’s hand from staff’s hair. Katie continued

resisting and scratching staff’s arm and hand. Staff sustained multiple scratches to the

arm and hand during the struggle. Staff also experienced significant pulling of the hair,

resulting in multiple strands of hair being pulled from the scalp. Throughout the incident,

staff continued attempting to redirect and verbally reassure Katie. Staff used familiar and

calming communication, including singing a rhyme and saying things such as, “Katie, let’s

get ready. Where is your backpack? Let’s get your backpack. Your dad is coming. Let’s go

see the horse. Let’s go see dogs at the dog park.” Katie continued holding staff’s hair and

did not release her grip despite staff’s attempts to disengage. During the incident, the

other individual came out of her room. She assisted staff by holding Katie’s hand and

verbally prompting her to release her grip. Following this intervention, Katie released her

grip on staff’s hair, allowing staff to move away from Katie and out of her immediate reach.

I wonder if she was worried her dad would cancel.  I don't know but it worries me (I don't want her to be evicted because of her behavior) and it breaks my heart because I know she's upset.  I'm also thankful that I wasn't recipient of her behavior, which sounds awful but it's true.  I wish they would call me but I'm also glad that they don't call me.  It's a rock and a hard place.

Other than Katie having a hard time, life is good.  The days are warm and sunny, the nights are cool, and Jack is happy to be back in a routine at school.  Last night he wanted to go to the park after supper, like every other night, and I told him I needed to clean up the kitchen, like every other night.  I told him I needed his help.  He put the dishes in the dish washer and wanted to help with the dishes, so I let him.  There was a fair bit of water everywhere but I kept my mouth shut and just put a rag on the floor to sop it up.  He washed, I rinsed, and he did a pretty good job.  This will probably not happen again for months, but it is a start.  We went to the park and his best friend was there so a lovely surprise for him.  He played hard, had a bath and a snack, and went to bed with poppa laying down with him.  He was out like a light, after he talked about the game he's building on Roblox, drank his milk, and brushed his teeth.

 

I received a lovely bouquet of sunflowers from a friend on the weekend.  She rang the doorbell, left the flowers on the doorstep, and ran away.  I called out to her that she was a chicken and she happily clucked back.  She has no desire to get this bug.  Wise woman.

Husband and I are not exactly bouncing back from this flu.  I do feel better but still tired, full of snot, short of breath, and coughing lots.  Husband got it a couple of days after me so he's a couple of days behind me in feeling better.  He's sleeping lots between coughing and sneezing bouts.  Jack is back to school thankfully.  He missed his skills assessment for soccer on Saturday morning because he had a fever but there is another chance tonight, so we'll get him to that.

Right now I also have something called paronychia on my right hand, ring finger. It is surprisingly painful and the pain was definitely 10/10 when I bumped it yesterday.  I'm sure I've had them before and they do go away on their own.  Strangely enough, that finger has been damp a lot lately because my dishwashing gloves have a leak in that finger and I've been too cheap to replace the gloves.  The gloves have been replaced now and I'm soaking the finger in hot salt water.  The first night it appeared though it was so painful that I had a hard time sleeping and then my brain decided it might be necrotizing fasciitis, so that didn't help me fall asleep either. Turns out not necrotizing fasciitis, no sepsis, just a sore finger.  As my mum would say, "Fool 'em and live".    

As you can read, life here has been just wildly exciting.  We didn't have frost on the weekend but it's going down to 0C tonight so I'm glad I got my tomatoes and apples harvested.  I've made two batches of tomato sauce so far with many more to come.  I've run out of room to put all the green tomatoes so a big bag went down to the basement.  I still need to deal with the apples when I get a bit of energy.  

I saw a downy woodpecker at the bird feeder this morning, such tiny little birds.  When our fridge died I found a package of suet with nuts, seeds, and dead bugs in it at the bottom of the freezer.  I put it outside and there has been one magpie who visits us several times a day to partake.  It looks like the same bird every time so obviously he/she has not told their extended family about it.  Sometimes we don't always feel like sharing.  I'm that way with chocolate.

 

This photo will be sixty-one years old soon.  It was taken for my third birthday and I was wearing my favorite dress.  

We're all still sick in the house.  Husband has joined me in the excess production of mucous, oh joy.  He's sneezing and coughing, I'm still coughing up crud, and Jack and husband both have fevers.  Jack just feels lousy.  I am not impressed.  Jack was supposed to be going to a skills assessment for his soccer this morning but that's not happening.  Fortunately there will be another skills assessment on Monday evening.

Virtually nothing has happened all week.  I did pick a bunch of tomatoes because it's getting cold at night but I ran out of energy after picking three plants.  There are four more to go.  I could show you a photo of the plants that I picked yesterday but that would require me getting up and getting my phone.  Too hard right now.

I also have to pick apples because the apples are ready.  I also have a photo of the tree but it's on the phone.  See above.

Nothing will happen today and hopefully I'm feeling better tomorrow to take Katie out.

I got up to brush my teeth so I figured I could post the photos.

A very interesting piece of graffiti from the skateboard park.  Jack came home from school yesterday morning because he felt like he was going to puke.  I don't think he was feeling that sick but he also wasn't feeling that well either.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt, part of the deal though was no park after supper.  Sure, sure, sure.  Of course after supper there were tears and begging but there was no park after supper.  He did play in the backyard though and he enjoyed that.  

I saw a doctor yesterday for my BP meds and I told her how tired I was.  She asked me if I was short of breath.  Yes I am.  Do I have brain fog?  Yes I do.  Do I have headaches?  No more than usual.  She checked my ferritin and it's low and she ordered a ferritin supplement for me so I'm hopeful that I'll have a bit more energy sometime soon.  I looked up old blood tests online and my ferritin has been low for the past 4 years which would explain some of the fatigue.  I don't eat red meat usually and very little leafy green veg which is probably the cause.  Last night I choked down some meatloaf and a spinach salad.

I worked in the front garden for awhile yesterday while Jack was home.  I have a problem with gardening.  I can grow just about anything but I suck at editing and pruning.  Yesterday I did both so we'll see how things turn out next year.  Because it was so wet this summer I spent very little time in the garden and it shows.  Next year I'll try again.  I removed almost all of the lamium and a few other plants that spread so much that they take over the garden bed.  I want to try more rudbeckia in the front garden next year.  I like the combination of yellow and purple, or blue.  The delphiniums that I planted in the front are doing well while the salvia gets mildew every summer which I don't like, so the salvia got yanked.

Jack was kind enough to share his germs with me when he wasn't feeling well on the weekend.  I had a sore throat when I went to bed last night and this morning I woke up with it still.  When I went to talk, it sounded like I had marbles in my mouth.  I used a flashlight and looked at my throat and it's quite swollen and boggy, including my uvula.  Nothing much is going to get done today other than a couple of dog walks.  My throat hurts like a bugger and so does my head.  I'll live.

Jack had a bit of a fever Saturday, so a quiet day.  Yesterday he was congested and plugged up.  School has started and the germs are out and about, mingling with everybody inside for most of the day again.  I imagine I'll be congested and plugged up in a day or two as well.

I took Katie out yesterday and she had a good time.  I took an ativan with us, just in case, but it wasn't needed.  We saw so many babies it was ridiculous and she loves babies.  With the government clawing back $200/month that she doesn't get, and with rent and everything costing more, she has about $20/month to spend as she pleases.  Today I bought her baby wipes (because she still poops in a diaper) and that was the $20 gone.  I realized that she can't afford to buy herself lunch out once a week anymore, so I paid for that.  I also bought her a new warm fleece jacket as it's gotten cold.  She doesn't have enough money to buy clothes and goes through her clothes quite quickly.  She pokes holes in, chews on, and rips all of her clothes.  This government disgusts me.  

I had lunch on Friday with a friend and I told her that I feel guilty sometimes that Katie doesn't have much of a life.  It seems like everyday is the same and she's just waiting to die.  And then I realized my life is not really so different and who am I to judge if her life is good or not. We're all waiting to die, going through our lives one day at a time. 

We're also watching "The Bear" and I love it!  The episode we watched last night was called "Forks".  One of the main characters was sent to a very high end restaurant to learn how to run a high end restaurant, about how to treat the customers, what's important, and why things matter.  What surprised me in this episode is that the restaurant gave back to the community and service (the chance to be of service to someone, to make their day better, to care) was what mattered to all the people who worked there.  It was about the food, but really is was about caring enough to do an excellent job.  It was not how I've ever thought of restaurants.  I've thought of hospitals and nurses like that (being of service) but not restaurants.  It kind of opened my eyes, being of service, giving of yourself can happen anywhere.  

I also had coffee with a couple of friends from work on Saturday morning and it was so nice to catch up with them.  I miss those women but I am also so thankful I don't have to work there anymore.  Health care continues to be Do more With less, thanks again to this pitiful excuse for a government who continues to underfund health care so that they can push their agenda of private health care.  Fuckers!

My sweary pottery has made it's way home.  There will be more because, the world needs more swears right now.

The basement bedroom is finished and Jack and I were able to sleep down there last night, on the bed, and not on the mattress on a floor.  It was very nice and comfortable.  I love the new flooring and there is no more mold.  We even have new windows downstairs as they were installed finally, after a three month wait.  Please ignore all of the black squiggly lines in the photos.  Apparently it comes from the invisible flickering of artificial indoor lights, although previous phones have never had this problem.  I'm just happy to have my basement, mostly, back together.  There is still a few more things that have to be properly put away in the utility room and I'm working on that.

Now I can turn my attention to the yard which greatly needs some attention.  

I've been reading "Leaving Home" by Mark Haddon, the author of  "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time".  It is a difficult to read book because of the neglect both he and his sister suffered at the hands of his parents, and the casual acceptance of both physical and sexual abuse by his parents. He and I are the same age and I remember the things that were just not talked about (anything difficult).

My mum was English.  After my son was born I was living at home with my parents, and within days of being discharged from the hospital, I got sicker and sicker.  I ended up back in hospital with an infected episiotomy.  I was in a lot of pain and in emergency the nurses had given me something for pain (so I was uninhibited) and the nurse had to get a sample of the pus coming from my incision.  My poor mum, even with drugs on board I could tell how uncomfortable she was being in the room with me and I said, "Oh mum, it's so hard being English."  Even as an old lady she could only say, down there, which made diagnosis difficult when she was an old lady.  There are many bits and pieces, down there:)

The book also brought back a lot of memories of trying to arrange care for mum and dad.  I only lived 150km away but I also had three kids.  When dad was dying he was very confused due to hepatic encephalopathy and mum would call me every night, crying because he was so hard to take care of.  I would listen to her for an hour while she cried and complained.  She also wouldn't move any furniture or area rugs (tripping hazards for my dad) to make it easier for dad to get around the house with his walker.  Dad wouldn't allow caregivers in the house because mum could do it he said.  In the night when he fell, mum would call the ambulance and the paramedics would come to the house, pick him up, assess him, and put him back in bed.  Neither one of them would allow things to be easier, for things to change, and now maybe I can see that they didn't want to admit to themselves how dire things were.  Dad was obviously dying and denial had always worked in the past, which is how they probably coped with the deaths of five babies/fetuses and the traumatic brain injury of my sister, but denial only works so long and death will not be denied.

Dad spent the last nine weeks of his life in hospital and when he was told that he would be transferred to a nursing home 65 km away from mum (who couldn't drive), he developed pneumonia the next day and died five days after that.  I think it was a relief for everyone when he died.  There was no more suffering.  I suppose that is the purpose of death too, an end to suffering.  

On that cheerful note, I'm off to paint the doors in the basement.

Jack was so excited to go back to school this morning.  He kept asking me what time it was and when the bus was coming.  He was pumped and he got on the bus with the two kids from across the street. 

The young woman across the street is a lovely young woman who has been struggling with some neurological problems for months now, numbness in her arm, hypersensitivity, double vision, migraines, gait problems, to name a few.  Sometimes she can't drive, so the kids are taking the bus now.  She and I chatted for probably half an hour and then I made her go inside as her teeth were chattering.  There was a cold wind this morning.

I also talked to the neighbors next door to us as well.  Their son is starting high school today and he had such a huge smile on his face.  Both of their children are good kids, they've done a good job, and been lucky.

I came inside and sat down at the computer, an entire day to myself for the first time in two weeks.  There are lots of things that need doing and nothing I feel like doing.  I have vacuumed though, the dog hair piles up so quickly in the hallway that I can't stand looking at it.  The dogs need their walks, I have errands to run, and painting to be done but I feel like doing nothing.  The horror! I stole that from Urspo.

I took the dogs for a walk.  While I was out with Charlie, an old couple with a large brown lab walked past me.  I've seen that dog charge people, even while on leash, and the man has very little control over it.  On the second encounter with them, we were both walking in circles apparently, I gave the dog a wide berth which brought me close to a fence line.  Charlie and the dog on the other side of the fence starting arguing and I tried to pull Charlie away from the fence when the other dog pushed a loose piece of the fence out of the way and attacked Charlie.  I got Charlie away but he had a gash on his nose which was bleeding a fair bit.  I yelled to tell the lady that she had a loose board on her fence and that her dog attacked my dog.  She said, your dog fault.  I took a photo of the house and will either talk to her or call bylaw enforcement.  My dogs have been attacked three times while they've been on leash in the neighbourhood.

And then I cried a little.  I think my biggest problem throughout my life has been my inability to regulate my emotions.  Yay, a new hobby.  How to learn emotional regulation as an adult.

Today is finally cooler and the dog walk was not brutally hot.  The trees are turning colour and the sky is a beautiful blue.

Our fridge arrived on Wednesday and I love it.  It's smaller and takes up less room in the kitchen.  The old one made it difficult for one person to walk past the other when one was at the sink (that would be me).  The best part, I have my ice cold fridge water again which I missed so much.  There is an ice maker in the freezer but it's not hooked up for now.  I just made ice cubes and filled the container.  Heaven.  My kitchen is back to normal and next week I hope to have the basement back to normal.

Last night we went to Jack's school to meet the teacher and drop off his school supplies.  I ran into a lot of neighbors and friends which was nice, people I wouldn't even know if I didn't have a 7 year old in elementary school.  On the drive home Jack said he wanted to started school right now and I said, "Me too."  He asks each day how many days left until school starts again.

I made it through the last two weeks of summer holidays, the two weeks without any camps to go to.  We did pretty good, ran a lot of errands and spent a fair bit of time at the spray park.  I did pretty good but last night I was worn out and couldn't handle even one more question.  I told him that but that didn't stop him.  That child opens his eyes at 6am and starts talking.  He doesn't stop until I tell him that he needs to stop talking so that he can fall asleep.  That's hard, for me:)

I remember last year feeling sad that I would be locked into school routines for the next twelve years but this year I'm glad to be locked into school routines.  

I stole this from Debby at "Life's Funny Like That".  On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know where I can find a feral raccoon?

Amur maple shrub which are common around here.  I love the colour of the seed heads and the leaves turn a beautiful red as well.

Our garage door died on Sunday.  I'm not that superstitious but that's three now, we should be done:)  Jack had a small hissy fit because he couldn't get his electric scooter out of the garage, but everyone survived.  Fortunately a very nice man came on Sunday evening and replaced both springs and the door is working again.  

The countdown to back to school has begun.  We meet the teacher on Thursday evening and Jack starts back to school on Monday morning.  I may be very excited about this, a return to the very same schedule that seemed so onerous in June, I now desire once again.  Who knew?

I've given up my membership to the pottery studio in Fort Saskatchewan.  I just wasn't getting out there enough to make it worthwhile and the drive was 30 minutes each way.  Yesterday morning Jack and I went there so I could finish up my glazing and he painted a piece of bisqueware with underglaze.  He got upset a couple of times because he didn't like how he painted it and nana showed him that you can just wash the underglaze off and try again.  When my stuff comes out of the kiln I'll share it here.  I call it my sweary pottery collection and it gave me so much satisfaction to do.  I do love a good swear.

I have signed up for more pottery classes though and they start in a few weeks.  I also want to take a wheel class in the new year.

I worked in the yard for awhile yesterday.  It's been a shitty summer with lots of rain, intense heat when it wasn't raining, and then millions of swarming mosquitos.  The weather is milder now, the lawn has dried out finally, and the mosquito numbers have gone way down.  We can sit on the back deck again and relax, but the annuals are starting to die.  Sigh.

My raspberry canes are about 7 feet tall and I just did some reading about them.  They need pruning apparently so I'll get to that next month and redo the trellis supports I made for them which aren't working all that great.  I'll try again as I told Jack.

And then I came across this man a few days ago, Dr. B.J. Miller.  He inspired me.

One of my favorite photos of Lucy.

Another busy week.  Our fridge died on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.  It's been dying for awhile but it gave up the ghost completely.  I went to put something in the freezer and the tomato sauce that was sitting in a bag was liquid.  Much stress followed.  We have another freezer in the mud room so that things that were expensive (meat) or from the garden (tomatoes and raspberries) and still not thawed out were moved there.  That night my husband brought in the travel cooler that we have and plugged that in and I bought a small fridge from Canadian Tire for milk and eggs, and most importantly, my iced tea:)  Both the cooler and tiny fridge are jam packed.

Two mornings of throwing things out either into the compost, or down the sink.  Most of the condiments are gone.  It's amazing how many condiments slowly take over the fridge but I did save the mayo.  We made a trip to the eco centre to get rid of all the empty glass containers because they no longer pick up glass.  

I ordered a new fridge online from Home Depot, but first I watched some videos about the best fridge to buy.  The fewer the bells and whistles, the more likely the fridge will last.  The worst offender is in door ice makers, which I don't like anyway so not a problem.  Less fancy=less components to break, which could be part of the problem with newer fridges and their short lifespan.  That and planned obsolescence.

I took Jack to the Fringe Festival yesterday afternoon and we had a nice time.  His favorite part was the children's section where he made a couple of crafts and put on a puppet show which reminded me a little of a Punch and Judy show.  He also got to see a juggler who juggled machetes and fire.  Surprisingly, he did not ask to buy a machete on the way home:)

I saw a lovely podiatrist yesterday who fixed up my sore foot in literally minutes and he then refused to charge me because it took so little time.  Very kind man.

I'm in the process of writing a letter to someone I love very much which has made me think, a lot, and cry, a little.  I have discovered I only have so much bandwidth to deal with highly emotional or stressful things at one time, and I'm learning to accept that about myself.  Probably most people are like that, but what do I know?  It's taken awhile to get to the point of writing this letter, longer than I would have liked, but I also have a stressful life which I am learning to accept.  

A private off leash dog park that Charlie could run in, without me having to worry about other dogs.  Unfortunately it also had a small slough which meant Charlie was covered in mud and smelly water, but he loved it.

Proof of a wet summer.

I took a break from social media for a bit.  It was getting me down and raising my blood pressure, literally.  My blood pressure is now under control and well managed.  I'm staying off instagram because my algorithm brings me all kinds of crap about the provincial government which leaves me feeling outraged.  I'm tired of feeling outraged.  It's not a good feeling.

We finally seem to have the right medication combination for Jack.  He's eating better and is able to stay focused when he needs to be.  He doesn't have any camps this week or next week, it's just the two of us and so far it's going well.  I have also been making hard boiled egg chocolate pudding for him which he loves and his weight is going up now.

The basement is almost finished which is nice.  The final two windows from our May new window installation have finally been installed in the basement, windows which would probably have prevented the flooding that we had.  Sigh.  The utility room is tidy and organized, and the bedroom has new flooring which looks very nice.  I only have some more painting to do in the bedroom and then it's finished.

I took a break from Katie this past weekend.  Jack went to the lake with his grandma and mother for one night, so I also took a break from Katie on the Sunday.  She's hard work that girl and I think I need to step back more, for her sake and mine.  When I die it's her caregivers who will be doing all of the stuff I do now.  I'm aging and finding it harder to deal with her mentally and physically, so stepping back, ever so slowly makes sense.

I'm finally feeling less overwhelmed now that the basement has been renovated.  I don't think I realized how much mental energy it took for me to deal with it.  Katie's ovarian cyst is shrinking and bothering her less and less it seems.  My son is doing well.  He just started a new job yesterday and in October he's going back to school to become a carpenter.  He seems happier and more settled, but even more importantly he's staying sober.  I'm thankful.

Me driving home with the new flooring from Home Depot:)

Summer is coming to an end.  Some of the leaves have started turning yellow.  The tansy, asters, and goldenrod are all blooming.  Basically all the weeds and grasses are blooming.

Canada Thistle.

Perennial sow thistle.

That's it.  That's all I got:)

I had a lovely dream this morning about one of my best friend's daughters.  This is Shirley with her oldest daughter who will be turning 29 next month.  Shirley died in 2015 of cancer and I still dream about her, but the dream this morning was about her youngest daughter and it was so nice to see her, even if it was only in my dreams.

I took this photo of the big pond a couple of days ago.  There's been so much rain that the ponds are doing well and the water levels are high.  The pelicans have moved from one pond to the other as well.  The white birds on the water are pelicans who summer here every year.  Lac La Biche has a massive summer pelican population and we have six but I love seeing these six arrive every spring.  There used to be eight but two must have died, hopefully of old age.

We rented a bin this past weekend to throw out the damaged flooring and drywall from the basement flooding.  Then we removed part of the decking in the back yard around the window well.  The decking was rotting and the slope was downwards towards the house which would explain the flooding.  The decking was built years ago and many of the screws were impossible to undo so my husband had to pry the boards up with a crowbar, one at a time.  Brute strength was required.

Instead of rebuilding the deck, we have a huge deck, this part of the yard will just be planted with grass and clover seed, after more soil is added to repair the slope.  No need to repaint or repair in the coming years, just cutting the grass which will be easier in the long run.

Another photo of the pond.  Everything is green and growing well.

Jack slept in his own bed last night, all night.  This is the first time he's slept alone in the last nine months.  He stayed with his grandma and mom on Halloween and his mom watched a scary movie with him, because she's such a good mom and only thinks about herself.  So for nine months, Jack has been sleeping with us, disrupting our sleep.  He felt safer sleeping with us and we want him to feel safe, but it was hard.  He's feeling better now thankfully.  He had a good night sleep he said.  Nine months and his mom, grandma, and aunt remains oblivious to the harm she does to him.

He is seeing a trauma counselor now which I'm hoping will help him in the long run.  

Katie had a rough day yesterday and started to attack me in the car on the way home, not a lot, but trying to pull my hair.  I got her home and in the house and then she started to crying and hitting her face.  I gave her an ativan and hoped for the best.  I have no idea what was going on with her and often we never do.  She has a hard life sometimes.

Life goes on:)

 

The walk home the other night.

It's been kind of an awful summer so far.  We had a huge dump of rain yesterday at lunch and the window well filled up again but I was home and I bailed it out.  It's just the volume of rain.  Streets are flooding, sink holes are appearing, and underpasses are impassable.  The waters recede and then it happens again.

I went online to figure out what to do about the window well and about flooding.  I found out that it's not an unusual problem, which is good to know, and it can be fixed, also good to know.  I was worried it would be something that would require tens of thousands of dollars to fix and my neck and back muscles tightened up.  I also learned about the purpose of window wells, how they're designed, and how they drain.  All good information that I managed to make it this far without knowing.

The damaged part of the basement has been cleaned out and I let the contractor know that he can come at anytime to do the repairs.  He told me after the long weekend.  Yesterday I bought the flooring and I've decided not to replace the nasty old utility sink in the basement, I just removed it.  I don't need it and it leaves more room in the furnace room.

I'll order a bin and I'll get rid of all the garbage that is now sitting in the garage and after the drywall is up, I can install shelving and organize the utility room so that we can find stuff, instead of buying another__________ (fill in the blank with any tool imaginable).

Jack has only a morning camp this week so I think I'm bummed out about that too.  I like it when I have the whole day to myself.  I think I'll make him go dog walking with me this afternoon and I'll keep the morning for myself.  I'll also be happier when my house is put back together.  

Europe is on fire, we're drowning, the US government has lost their collective mind, and the children of the world continue to die or be traumatized because old men who are afraid to die fight wars that nobody needed and nobody wanted (I suppose the argument could be made that war is never needed or wanted).  Climate change is real, it's not new but it has been sped up exponentially and the poorest among us will be the ones to suffer the most, as usual.  We're supposed to do better when we learn and yet it appears that human beings have learned nothing.  It breaks my heart.