Charlie staring at the cat. He's not sure what to do with that cat. He likes to lick her and he likes to bother her, but he doesn't hurt her. He's some kind of sight hound though because it's usually her moving that gets his attention.
I sent off a terse email yesterday to AISH, the Premier, the Minister for Assisted Living, my MLA, and my ex-husband. My ex-husband surprised me and "replied all" with support for Katie. A few hours later I heard from someone at AISH and we went through all the bullshit again. Yes Katie had been refused the benefit. Yes I had emailed AISH the refusal letters from the Canada Disability Benefit. Yes there were two letters. The one letter specifically says I need to be Katie's trustee to be able to apply on her behalf. The trusteeship takes up to a year now to process because of our provincial government's general uselessness and lack of forethought. The gentleman said he would "look into it" and "discuss it with his supervisor". You do that sweetie, is what I didn't say.
It's easy, give Katie her full AISH benefit, or the news media will get involved. I've done it before and it's highly effective.
So, that's that.
With my extra anger yesterday, I focused it and got the rest of the painting done in the bathroom (only the ceiling was left to do), and then I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the tiles and grout. Everything looks clean and fresh and my anger got discharged safely.
I'm starting to see a counsellor today to help me deal with everyone's opinions on how I should act and be in the world. I'm tired of being told that I am unacceptable as I am. I'm happy to learn new ways of being, if they benefit me, but I also struggle mightily with just accepting myself as a deeply flawed human being that is trying their best. I will never be perfect. I will never make everyone happy. And most of all, people need to stop telling me what to do or think.
And happy Easter everyone.
I hope you get justice and fair treatment for Katie, yes, even if that means getting the media involved! I love those Easter memes except for the boiled bunny one!
ReplyDeleteI've been her advocate and voice her whole life. I will do my best to make sure she gets what is her.
DeleteGod, I love your determination and persistence! You are a force to be reckoned with.
ReplyDeleteAnd guess what? I hate being told what to do too. I am hating it even more the older I get.
Me too Mary, me too:)
DeleteYou are self-aware, as I am and that really helps. I told OD yesterday a(bout her toxic job) that she was letting the people there and the job itself define her. And that's NOT who she is or wants to be.
ReplyDeleteHow did she take that?
DeleteShe agreed, especially when I compared it to her relationship with her ex who always gas lit her and made her think she was the crazy, incompetent one. She said, "That's exactly what my therapist says!" She's talking about taking a mental health leave of absence and exploring some options.
DeleteI wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of you. I hope the counseling helps you.
ReplyDeleteI hope it helps too.
DeleteWho are these twerps suggesting you're not fine as you are? Turkeys who maybe should take a look in the mirror and shut the front door. -Kate
ReplyDeleteLOL. Thanks Kate. You made me laugh.
DeleteI always cc Janet French (CBC provincial affairs reporter).
ReplyDeleteWhat an excellent idea. I shall add that to my arsenal.
DeleteYes, yes, get media into it. That's how I resolved a three year fight with the local child study team to get my son into the only special school placement that could work for him. Sunday papers, pictures of handsome little boy, massive coverage. the school team were so embarrassed they called at nine am Monday to say okay,okay, you got it. He got in, did wonderfully and now has a good life. Clearly terrified a lawsuit naming them might be next.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Katie's got you fighting for her. Never underestimate what a furious mother can achieve for her daughter.
I think we are not so different, you and I:)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry I tried to delete the duplicate. Anyway yes, I coopted a local journalist who herself had a special needs son, by then an adult, and was horrified these fights were still necessary.
ReplyDeleteYes, get the media involved! ❤️
ReplyDeleteI will if necessary.
DeleteThat photo of Charlie is so beautiful. It makes me want to pet him! I looked up the acronym AISH as I was curious what it stood for. It must be very frustrating having to fight for Katie's benefits when it should just simply be a given. Good luck with the counselor. I hope it helps. And if it means anything at all, I think most everyone has pretty deep flaws. The key is to recognize that no one is perfect.
ReplyDeleteOur provincial government likes to keep changing the rules. They are despicable.
DeleteI agree, none of us is perfect.
Happy Easter. You're not a flawed person. You're a caring person & just want the best for everyone & there's nothing wrong with that!
ReplyDeleteThanks Paula.
DeleteBureaucracy can really wear you down but you have to keep at it.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a while to get the last meme with the rabbit.
It's an old movie meme, took me a minute too.
DeleteI'm so sorry they're being such a bunch of dicks about Katie's disability allowance. Let's hope the man you spoke to on the phone follows through. There are some good ones out there! And getting the media involved sounds like a good idea if not! Good luck to you (and Katie)!
ReplyDeleteThanks Treaders.
DeleteWhat a beautiful dog Charlie is!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with getting Katie's allowance sorted out.
Thanks Frances. I think Charlie is very beautiful too.
DeleteWell, you are absolutely right about the opinions of others. You need to make yourself happy, or do your best to do so. This disability thing doesn't seem like it should be so hard to sort out, does it?! Bureaucracy!
ReplyDeleteI care too much what family members think of me, always trying to placate others.
DeleteThe disability stuff shouldn't be so hard to sort out but when you involve the provincial government, it becomes so.
Good grief. People tell you how they think you should be. That's ridiculous. Sounds like the trusteeship is a gate for them providing the money. Just hand over the money already! You do have a gorgeous dog there.
ReplyDeleteDon't people tell you how you should be? Am I the only one?
DeleteI didn't apply for trusteeship fifteen years ago when I applied to be Katie's guardian because I couldn't foresee this scenario, and nobody talked to me about it either.
I think Charlie is beautiful too:)
I'm an unusual case, I have no family to tell me how to be, they're all dead. There are very few friends remaining, so there is no one around to provide input.
DeleteThese people telling you how to be…. Do they add benefit to your life? If not, think about whether you need them to be in your life at all — and if not, maybe you can avoid or minimize contact so you just don’t have to deal with them…
ReplyDeleteI sure hope you're successful in getting Katie her benefits, it is always such an Ordeal. I'm going with The Young Prince to Social Security this Month to apply for Disability Benefits and expanded Services, he really needs both. Dealing with a Schizophrenic without a support system is difficult. At one time I had two of them here but the Daughter has left again and I just really had to wish her well coz it's one less for me to take Care of who isn't getting any Services and doesn't have it in her to go thru all the rigamarole it would entail. She'd rather be Homeless and not Deal with any of it, self-medicate, and live one day at a time as best she can. The Man is recovering from his Heart Attack as well as can be expected, the Surgery was a success but he got Pneumonia so is Healing from that now. As far as people telling us how to Be, we simply must Be who we are and were meant to be, what they think or feel about that is their issue, not ours.
ReplyDeleteI was a sole parent and at one stage some support for my daughter from the government got cut off because "I wasn't pursuing the father for maintenance" - I asked them to check the comment below that regarding my ex and the poor girl at the counter went ashen when she realised that I wasn't doing that as he was dead. Bureacracy is a pain in the ass.
ReplyDeleteLove the meme about calories in chocolate - I had afternoon tea with my daughter's boyfriend's Mum yesterday and all she could think was how she had to lose weight (she doesn't) and refusing food, poor darling.